9 Of The Most Insane Relationship Confessions From Reddit

Relationships are something that, by their very nature, require a lot of work. They are hard! It’s hard to trust someone else, it’s hard blending your life together with someone else’s, and it’s hard to maintain the delicate balance of codependency and self-sufficiency that’s necessary to keep a relationship healthy. This means that you may struggle a bit in your own relationship, and that’s okay – in fact, it’s normal. A glance at any women’s magazine or website featuring relationship confessions will prove that to you.

But. No matter how dubious you feel about your own relationship is, you can more or less rest assured that it is nowhere near as terrible as some people on the internet. There are the usual suspects for bad internet relationships–like, um, these ones–and then there are some other examples that we haven’t been able to talk about as much. Reddit relationships. And honestly? They are pretty wild. So, check out these totally weird relationship confessions from Reddit right here:

They're Secretly Married

Wanna live out one of the most overplayed--but, in my opinion, consistently great--TV tropes? Just get a secret spouse. Or, you can live vicariously through Reddit user ohchick, who said, "I am still legally married. I don't have the money for a divorce, left my husband four years ago in another state, and wouldn't know how to contact him if I wanted to." Welp. There's that, I guess.

Image source: iStock

They Could Get Arrested At Literally Any Second

What would you do if your boyfriend or girlfriend was secretly Walter White? One redditor, "flamedfuckface" (alliteration!), said, "I make the most of my money from distributing illegal substances." There is no context here, so I am not sure what these illegal substances may be. But that is a bad surprise either way!

Image source: iStock

They Have A...Weird Crush

In a now-deleted (but preserved forever, thanks to the beauty of screenshots) post, one redditor shared how they have a crush on their boyfriend's dad, despite never having met them. They said, "I'm sexually attracted to my boyfriend's dad. I can't help it. I haven’t even met him yet. I've just heard a lot about him, have seen pictures, and heard his voice. I'm paranoid that when I do meet him I’ll be all weird around him. So much so that I don’t want to meet him, although my boyfriend and he are close."

Image source: iStock

They're Catfishing You

Someone with the, uh, fitting username "catfishingmybf321" shared a story about how she tried (and succeeded, I guess) to catfish her boyfriend of three months. She said, "He always tells me he would never cheat. I don't believe him because hes a flirt by nature. So I decided to put it to the test. Today I told my best friend (he doesn't know about her obv) to add him on Snapchat and flirt with him. He flirted back instantly. She asked him if he was single and he said 'recently divorced so yes.' She also asked if he would be down to come over tonight at 11. He said sure. He talks to her about how he will bring condoms." That is not good! It is also not good to compelled to create an so, uh, my (unsolicited) advice here is to end everything. Maybe reevaluate a few things.

Image source: iStock

They've Got Some...Fantasies

Every wondered what your boyfriend does after you get in an argument? Some, uh, just masturbate. Violently. Someone named "soupspa" said, "I masturbate furiously to other women when I'm mad at her. I don't think she'd dump me for that but she'd get really mad." It's normal to think of someone who isn't your partner when you're masturbating! But the logistics here are troubling--does it happen, like, right after an argument? Does this man take his pants off as soon as his girlfriend angers him? Does he now have a Pavlovian response to anger, in that the feeling of rage also brings about a feeling of arousal? Who knows!

Image source: iStock

They're Not That Into It

Sexual insecurity is a big problem for a lot of people in relationships. main_enigma, confirmed a lot of those fears when he said, "[My girlfriend] isn't as good in sex as my ex was. My ex was wild and was into trying a lot of things. If she wants something, she just asks. She also doesn't have a problem letting me know when she wants to fuck. My current SO has a 'I'm not a slut so I'm not gonna do that' mentality. Our sex life is pretty average and have been the same routine for the last 2 and a half years." So, one takeaway here, I guess, is that you shouldn't slut shame yourself. If you want to do something in bed, tell your partner. That being said, you should try not to date people who are very hung up on their ex, as this person appears to be.

Image source: iStock

They Still Like Their Ex

If you're insecure about your SO's ex, uh, that insecurity might be warranted. One user, jonathan88876 said, "I love [my girlfriend], and she's an amazing person, but if my ex were to kiss me right now, it would all be over." But don't worry! I'm sure you're fine.

Image source: iStock

They Hate Your BFF

Feeling sort of jealous every now and then is pretty normal--but it sucks when you're super jealous of your SO's best friend, and you also feel like you can't say anything about it. himynameiserica said, "I try not to hide anything from him, but I can never come out and say that I don't like his best friend, that's also a woman. I know that she has feelings for him, but he will never realize it. Everyone can see it but him...and that kills me. He has many other friends that are women, and I've never minded that."

Image source: iStock

That's Definitely Pee On The Toilet Seat

Wondering if that liquid on the toilet seat is pee or stray water? Chances are good that it's pee. Wrath_Of_Aguirre said, as their one big relationship confession, "That really was piss droplets on the seat and not remnants of me shaking off my hands after washing them. She must never find out, I love her so much..." I don't know. Not much to say about this one, actually.

Image source: iStock

What did you think about these confessions? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.


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