Like a lot of people who were born at some point in the 1990s, came of age during the Obama administration, and have grown accustomed to being characterized by a few internet pundits as a millennial “snowflake,” the Harry Potter franchise is something that I hold very dear to my heart. I read the books, saw the movies, wrote some fanfiction that could potentially end my professional life if it were to ever see the light of day in the modern era, and so I remain here today, and forevermore, an adult Harry Potter fan.
What does this mean? This means that I am constantly involved in some sort of discourse regarding at least one thing about the Harry Potter franchise. I am a fan of Pottermore, and J.K. Rowling’s political activism. I am not the biggest fan of J.K. Rowling editing and inserting subtext into her decades-old books (subtext and symbolism are great, but those things should be picked up by the reader and not force-fed to them on Twitter!), nor am I super into comparing Voldemort to someone like, say, Donald Trump (thematically, it’s sound enough, but it doesn’t really hold up if you think about it too much). You see? Discourse! It’s all fun.
Much like the realization that going to Hogwarts might not actually be all that great of an overall academic experience (The confusing hallways! The moody professors! The constant, looming threat of student and teacher death!), there are a bunch of weird things about the Harry Potter universe in general that some savvy internet superstars have been able to pick up on. So, check out these totally weird things that’ll make you see Harry Potter differently:
Like, Dumbledore…REALLY messed up Harry, right? Do not @ me. (Or do! It’s fine.)
2. This is…dramatic. But probably true:
Harry would have needed…so much therapy.
3. For the greatest wizard of all time, Dumbledore did not exactly make the smartest decisions!
At least as far as, like, human dignity is concerned.
4. For example:
5. You know what? Dumbledore is bad:
And no redemption arc will change this.
6. Which (maybe) explains why Harry was kind of a jerk?
7. A distracting jerk:
(Also, this post is about Hermione, right?
8. Also not the most observant one!
Which does make for some great fanfiction, so no harm done IMO.
9. FIND. THE. LIE:
Why isn’t there more regulation on this one?
10. Again–find the lie:
FOUNDER OF HOGWARTS: okay, so we all know there are four types of kid. brave, smart, evil and miscellaneous.
SCHOOL BOARD: yes, continue.
— Carl Kinsella (@TVsCarlKinsella) August 6, 2016
The Hogwarts house system is a flawed one, TBH.
11. Like, who decided that the person you are at eleven decides who you are for the literal rest of your life?
Tag yourself, I’m the sandwich.
12. DO NOT MAKE ME THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS:
It is a deep thought for Pinterest, though!
13. This too:
It makes me angry!
14. Speaking of Trelawney…
That’s basically Hermione’s main flaw, right?
15. I HATE this:
Which means I love it, obviously.
16. I support this theory, personally:
I mean, it’s almost impossible to prove that it isn’t true, right?
17. Will the discourse ever go away?
JK Rowling, crying desperately: the sorting hat was trans
— that gecko girl (@chaeronaea) September 9, 2016
18. No. The discourse must never die:
What do you think of these posts? Did any of them ~change your life~? Let us know in the comments!