In many ways, there is no human experience that is more tragic–and, in this sense, more unifying–than that of having a crush. Crushes are hard! There are some fun components, but for the most part, crushes tend to lead to some not-so-positive feelings. It’s hard to like someone as more than a friend while knowing that there is a very good possibility that they will not feel the same way, it’s hard feeling like you have to be on your A-game whenever you’re around one person, and it’s hard feeling so very vulnerable around someone whom you’d probably rather feel cool and guarded while in their presence.
But worst of all are the weird, irrational, impossible-to-tamp-down feelings of jealousy that arise when you’re around your at barely a moment’s notice for no particular reason. I mean, perhaps you are blessed with the ability to not feel jealousy around those you feel more than friendly feelings for, and, for that, I congratulate you. But chances are good that you feel a little jealous when, like, your crush looks at someone else, or talks to someone else, or even starts dating someone else when you’re dating them. Even though they might not have known that.
But all of this also means that there is a fairly good chance (an almost certain chance, if you think about it enough) that they will be jealous of you too. I am not saying that it’s certain! I’m just saying that it’s possible.
Now, to be clear, jealousy is not always a good thing. It can be cute early on, when you’re not totally sure if they like you or not, but if they’re overly jealous and expect you to acquiesce to all of their whims simply because they’re insecure, this could be as good a reason as any to stop having them as your crush. Either way, it’s good to know the signs. So, check out these real ways to tell if your crush is jealous of you:
They Try To Monopolize Your AttentionIf you're hanging out with a group of friends, your crush is there, and you notice them going out of their way to insert themselves into your conversations--especially if this happens when you're talking to someone else--this is a pretty sure sign that they're a little jealous. This is good if: They engage you in conversation, talk as long as that particular conversation holds, and then leave you to talk to your friends as you would like. You know, like a normal person. This is bad if: They insist on being your main point of focus the entire time you're together, interrupt you when you're talking to someone else, and stare at you from across the room if you walk away.Image source: iStock
If Someone Else Flirts With You, They PoutThis is another thing that would most often happen in a group setting. You'll usually see this if you're out with some friends, someone comes over to flirt with you, and you can see your crush becoming a little uncomfortable with it. They're jealous! This is good if: They initiate a conversation with you later about how seeing you flirting with someone made them realize that their feelings for you were stronger than they originally thought, and, if you are into it, would you like to go out sometime? This is bad if: They storm over in the midst of your conversation to interrupt it, or send you a text in the middle of it to get you to stop talking, or try to use the fact that someone else happens to find you attractive against you. Image source: iStock
They Ask A Lot Of Questions About The People You're Hanging Out WithAnother sign that your crush might be a little jealous is if, when they find out you're hanging out with or talking to other people, they start to ask questions. This is good if: The questions are ones that seem to stem from a place of genuine interest about you and your life and do not demonize you for talking to other people, as they realize that you are an autonomous individual with a great personality and robust social life. This is bad if: The questions are ones that do not seem to stem from a place of genuine interest about you and your life, and instead establish a sense of possessiveness that would be ridiculous if you were dating, and is especially ridiculous,as you are not yet dating. Image source: iStock
And Make Some Rude Comments About Them, TooAnd, if the questions about your friends start to turn to moderately-to-severely snippy comments, this is another sign of jealousy. This is good if: There's not a lot of good here, actually--if someone is making rude comments about your friends, this probably isn't someone you want to be hanging out with. This is bad if: Again--it's hard to find anything that's not bad about this. It is especially bad, I guess, if the things they say are things you know (or later find out) to be untrue, as this can be an attempt to draw you away from outside people and isolate you. Image source: iStock
They Give You The Silent TreatmentGhosting is usually thought of as a sign that someone doesn't like you anymore, but sometimes, it can mean just the opposite. People are weird! People usually give the silent treatment if they feel they have been wronged in some way, so, if your crush stops talking to you, it's possible that they're a little upset or jealous over something. This is good if: Hmm. Nothing is really good about this, either--the silent treatment is a pretty immature way of dealing with things, so it sucks if your crush does it to you. I GUESS the one way that this might be forgivable is if you did something around your crush that might justifiably make them jealous--such as hooking up with someone else--and so they stop talking to you because they think you don't like them anymore. If that's the case, you can reach out and see how they respond. This is bad if: This is almost always bad, but especially so if you know you did nothing wrong, and your crush stopped speaking to you because they are petty and want the attention they know the silent treatment gets. (Or, they just ghosted you. Which also sucks, and also means that they're someone you shouldn't be wasting your thoughts on.) Image source: iStock
They Text More FrequentlyIf your phone starts buzzing more frequently with texts from your crush, this is (obviously) almost a certain sign that they like you. And, if it's happening in the wake of you meeting someone new, it is almost certainly a sign that they are jealous, too. This is good if: They text just enough to get you to know that they are interested, but respect your boundaries and don't nag you if you don't respond for a few hours, since they know that if you wanted to respond, you would. This is bad if: They send you texts every hour, on the hour, get angry if you don't respond immediately, and accuse you of texting other people if you take too long to respond. Image source: iStock
They Start ArgumentsYou may argue with your crush from time to time, and that's perfectly fine. But if the arguments start picking up, this could be a sign that they're feeling jealous--jealousy is a pretty crappy feeling, whether it's warranted or not, so your crush could be picking fights because they associate you with their jealousy. This is good if: No. Nothing is good about starting arguments for no reason. Do not entertain this behavior. This is bad if: This is always bad! It's a sign that your crush isn't able to differentiate you as a person from the feelings of insecurity they get around you, for whatever reason, and, subsequently, isn't emotionally mature enough to be your crush. Image source: iStock
Do you secretly wish that your crush was jealous of you? Do you have any other ways to tell? Let us know in the comments!
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