Let’s be honest: no one wants to be known as a bad kisser. Yes, there are worse things in the world people could say about you, but it feels pretty crappy to think that someone out there might be talking about how terrible you are at kissing. Most of us are worried about our technique, but in reality, it’s way easier to be good at smooching than it is to be bad. A great kiss is about keeping it simple and relying on the most basic of tips, along with a partner you’re really into, obviously. It’s when you try to do something crazy or get a little extra that things can get iffy. But how do you know if you’re a bad kisser or if you’re just anxious about your abilities?
Since you aren’t kissing yourself, obviously, it can be hard to figure out if you’re doing something wrong. Few people will be like, “Hey, get your mouth away from me, you’re not good at this,” so you’re pretty much left to rely on yourself. There are a few signs you can look out for that might indicate you need a little smooching practice (which, honestly, is the best kind of practice). If some of these ring true for you, remember that you can absolutely get better at this, and, really, this isn’t the worst thing in the world. So, want to know if you need help or not? Here are some definite signs that you’re a bad kisser:
Your Teeth Bump.. A LotTeeth knocking into each other once in a while is normal, especially if you guys are getting pretty passionate or you're in an awkward space. But if your teeth are bumping more than once during one makeout session, then something might be wrong. Bumping teeth together isn't just awkward, it's also kind of painful, and it means you're probably moving too quickly or pressing your face too close into theirs. It could also mean you're opening your mouth too wide or just being a little overzealous. Try taking things a little slower, being aware of how wide your mouth is, and maybe pulling back a little bit. That should help! Source: iStock
You Never Touch Them Anywhere ElseA good kiss is, obviously, focused on the way your mouth moves, but it's also about the rest of your body language too. Even if you know what you're doing with your lips and tongue, sitting there stiffly with your arms at your side is going to kind of ruin things. If you find your hands in your lap, or you notice that no other body parts are touching except your lips, you need to change something. Try putting your arms lightly around them, put a hand on the back of their neck, or slip your arms around their waist. Just make sure you're not stiff and uncomfortable, because that makes the kiss stiff and uncomfortable too. Source: iStock
You're Moving Your Head All Over The PlaceA good kiss should involve some head movement - after all, sitting there and kissing in one position is boring, and also pretty uncomfortable. So, moving your head around a bit is definitely important, but only to an extent. If your neck is basically getting a workout because you're going back and forth every five seconds, you need to chill. Just let things flow in a natural way. Source: iStock
You Try Every Tip You've Ever Read At OnceWe've all heard some of the most common tips to make kissing more passionate: bite their lip gently, run your hands through their hair, playfully nip their tongue, swirl your tongue just so, etc. These tips exist for a reason, which is that they work. But, uh, they don't work all at the same time. Try one move on its own before moving onto something else, and get yourself comfortable with it instead of trying to impress someone with all of the crazy things you learned how to do from reading Cosmo. Source: iStock
Your Tongue Is Doing All The WorkOne of the easiest ways to become bad at kissing is to rely too much on your tongue. If you find that your tongue has basically disappeared into their mouth, that's too much. If you notice that you dart your tongue in and out of their mouth, quickly and over and over again, you need to take things slower. Or maybe you keep swirling your tongue in a fast circle, or you're basically licking them. All of these things are not great. Keep things simple when it comes to tongue stuff, take it slow, and take cues from your partner. Source: iStock
Things Are, Uh... MessyIf your kiss is slobbery, confusing, and feels totally awkward, there's a good chance it isn't great. Too much saliva is, frankly, kind of gross and not really a turn on. Sitting in an uncomfortable and awkward position can really throw things off. If things seem to be all over the place, take a deep breath and slow it down. Source: iStock
Your Lips Are DryBad breath is obviously a no-go for a kiss, but another thing that can ruin a smooch is dry lips. If your lips are so dry they're basically cracked, this isn't going to feel good for your partner. You don't need the softest lips in the world, but flakey, dry lips are uncomfortable. Source: iStock
You Feel Your Partner Leaning Or Pushing AwayThis is a big sign: if a kiss is good, your partner is going to pull you in more. If a kiss is bad, they're going to politely lean away. I've been on the receiving end of a bad kiss, and I didn't know what to do, so I kind of just kept leaning away and adding space in the hopes that they would get it and back off a bit. This could either mean that you're too on top of them or that something else is going wrong. If you notice this behavior, try to play off their cues to see what they like. Source: iStock
You Have No Confidence In Your Abilities WhatsoeverFeeling super nervous and awkward? Have you already convinced yourself that you suck at kissing? Having zero confidence in yourself isn't going to help you. If you think you suck, then you're probably not going to be that great. Kissing is about going with the flow, and if you can't do that because you're so scared, then it's going to make things weird. Source: iStock
They Start Giving You TipsIt's not like they're giving you a lesson or walking you through it, but if they start hinting at something they want you to do, or saying things like, "kiss me like this," it might be them trying to guide you into the right direction. This is nice of them, much nicer than pushing you away, but still - it's a sign you might need to practice a little bit more. Source: iStock
Do you think you’re a bad kisser? What do you disagree with? Share in the comments.