We all know we’re not supposed to settle in a relationship… so then why do so many of us do exactly that? It might sound snobbish or mean to say that you’re “too good” for someone, but trust me: it’s entirely possible that you are too good for your significant other. You can see it so clearly when a friend deserves better than what she’s getting in a relationship, but when it comes to yourself? Forget about it! The feeling of love makes you justify everything, and on top of that, most of us are conditioned to think less of ourselves than we should. But how are we supposed to know if we could do better than our significant other if we can’t get ourselves to admit it?
It’s tricky, because even if you do deserve better than what you have, it might not mean you’re unhappy. Plenty of couples who seem a little off feel totally okay for the most part – except for that niggling voice in the back of your head that’s warning you that something is up. You might make up lots of legitimate sounding excuses for their not-cool behavior (“you just don’t understand what we have – it’s special and different,”) but when push comes to shove, you’re simply better off without them. We all deserve someone who respects us and makes us feel like a well-loved, best version of ourselves. If you’re in this situation, really try to take an objective look at this: these are eight signs that you’re way too good for your S.O.
They're Only There For You SometimesWhen you need help with something big, they're nowhere to be found or they're "too busy." But, when it comes to prom or being there for your birthday party, they're right next to you basking in the good times. They like to pick and choose how and when they show up in your life as your partner, which isn't fair to you, especially if you're there for them no matter what. This is a telltale sign that bae isn't ready to actually be in a relationship, which is fine, it just also means that you should probably stop being in a relationship with them.Source: iStock
You're Embarrassed By Them All The TimeThey don't even have to do anything embarrassing for you to be embarrassed by them. Honestly, that sounds like a jerk statement, but if you've been there, you know the feeling. Have you ever invited bae on a group outing and had them make not-funny jokes and complain the whole time? Like that. Your partner being who they are feels the opposite of how you like to be. You often feel like a babysitter when you're out together, just trying to prevent them from embarrassing you. If they're constantly being immature and drawing attention to themselves in a negative way, you should think about exiting this relationship.Source: iStock
People Have Said It To You BeforeIf a friend or family member has made a comment to you about being too good for bae, maybe there's some truth to it. The people closest to you can sometimes see your relationship pretty clearly because they're seeing it from an outsider's perspective, without feelings invested. Hearing what they have to say or just knowing they don't like bae in the first place can be heartbreaking, so I get why you don't want to listen to them, but it might be a really key clue that you're too good for your S.O. If they're full on attempting to set you up with other people even though you're technically in a relationship (happened to my friend!), you know what's up.Source: iStock
They Don't Care About Your Pleasure In BedOkay, so this tip doesn't always mean you deserve better, because they could just be clueless, but sometimes it does. If your partner is experienced and you guys have been hooking up for a while, they should know how to pleasure you in bed and they should know if they're doing it or not. Sex is over when they get off, all sex acts are focused on making them feel good, and you get to feel pleasure as a sort of added bonus to that. You don't get yours as often as you should (and you always should). Selfish lovers don't make good partners in other areas, too. You're too good for this.Source: iStock
You're Only In It For The SexOn the flip side, maybe things are all about teh great sex you're having. You and this person have amazing, mind-blowing sex and um, that's it. You're physically attracted to them yet can't pinpoint what you like about them as a person. This isn't because you haven't thought about it, you just don't think they're that great. You're willing to overlook all of the things that tell you this isn't the relationship for you because the sex is both consistent and awesome. You stay in it because the sexual chemistry is off the charts, so there has to be something else there, right? Maybe there isn't, and that's fine. Staying in it isn't fair to either of you at this point. Source: iStock
You Always Make The First MoveEverything from texting first, being the first to say I love you, picking and planning dates, even picking a fight, you're always the one to initiate and make the first move towards something and the other person just sort of takes it. Even though you might feel happy because this is just the flow of your relationship, it might be a sign that bae is only halfway invested since they can't even meet you in the middle about anything because you're always making 100 percent of the effort. Don't you get tired after a while?Source: iStock
They Hide You From EveryoneNothing sucks quite like being kept a secret. Bae should be proud of you! If they haven't told their family or friends about you and you've been dating for a few months, something's up. Even if they're super loving and affectionate in private like they're the best partner ever, it feels like it only exists for you two. Did you just invent them? They downplay or ignore your relationship to the important people in their lives and that's not fair. You should be with someone who's proud of you, not with someone who conveniently acts like you don't exist depending on who they're talking to.Source: iStock
They Want To Keep You DownThey're constantly putting you down and taking apart your goals. When something new or exciting comes up for you, they want to bring you down. Is this because they want to keep you for themselves? Is it because they have no ambitions of their own? Are they scared you'll finally recognize that you're actually too good for them? It's not uncommon for insecure people to attempt to keep a level playing field by making sure everyone around them doesn't rise above. If they're completely unsupportive, that's no good, no matter how you look at it.Source: iStock
Does this sound like you and bae? Do you know a couple like this? Let us know in the comments!
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.