Sometimes, you know when you’re being annoying: when you flake on plans at the very last minute, when you interrupt someone’s story to tell your own (better) story, or when you say something and notice your friends rolling their eyes at you. But while there are some obvious signs that the people around you are feeling frustrated with your behavior, there are still a lot of ways you can annoy everyone without even realizing it. What seems like second nature to you might be grating to someone else, and very few people out there are going to get honest and say something like, “Oh my God, you are so annoying.” Unless you spend a lot of time writing for the Internet. In that case, no one has a problem saying that to you!
Anyway. Acting annoying sometimes is not the end of the world. We’ve all been there, even those who are inherently likeable. Still – it’s helpful to be aware of behavior that can bug your friends, family members, or various significant others. It’s a new year, so it’s the perfect time to focus on being more awesome to the people we spend time with rather than bugging everyone in an ignorant way. So, whether you want to admit it or not, these are 10 ways you’re definitely annoying everyone around you:
Not Being Aware Of Personal SpaceBumping into people because you aren't paying attention or hogging all of the space on a couch is annoying, but that's not the extent of it. Do you hug people even though they don't want to be touched? Do you ask if it's okay before you put your shoes on someone's couch or bed? Do you leave your stuff anywhere when going to a friend's house without a thought as to where they might want you to put it? Do you grab someone's French fries without asking if you can have some? Not respecting the personal space of others is annoying for everyone. Not every space is made exclusively for you, so be aware and mind your own.Source: iStock
Needing Constant ValidationWhy is this the most exhausting personality trait for anyone to have? Needing attention and praise for every single thing in your life is a ton of upkeep for your friends to maintain and frankly, it's annoying to deal with. Whether it's the self deprecating need for compliments that counteract negative self-talk or someone who constantly brags about literally everything they're doing, the results are the same. You're making your friends responsible for your emotional stability and well being. And yeah, that's what friends do, but they need breaks, alright? Source: iStock
Putting Your Joke Ahead Of Your Friend's FeelingsBringing up embarrassing stuff in public without any warning, being deliberately offensive, and teasing someone when they're obviously uncomfortable isn't okay even if you think you're being funny. You can apologize if you mess up, but it's best to avoid this until you know otherwise. While we're here, claiming your friend needs to grow up because they're being too sensitive and they should just get over it makes you a jerk on top of everything else. Nobody cares how funny you are if you're dragging your friends behind you and making everybody feel awkward.Source: iStock
Not Apologizing, No Matter WhatI don't mean the #SorryNotSorry mentality where you take measures to not apologize for things you actually shouldn't be sorry for in the first place, I'm talking about thinking "That's ridiculous, I apologize when I do something wrong! What do you mean?" For starters, do you really and truly apologize? Or do you just make excuses for your bad behavior in hopes that your friends will truly ~see where you're coming from~ and understand why you were being rude? Do you see the difference? One version asks the person who should be apologized to responsible for everything even though they didn't do anything wrong and the other one is an actual apology. Source: iStock
Continuing To Talk About Something That Makes Everyone Else UncomfortableWe all know that there are certain subjects that are technically "impolite" to talk about in public, like sex or religion, but that might not be the case with our close friends. So, it's easy to see why you would automatically have the same comfort threshold when it comes to every taboo topic. You never know what makes some people uncomfortable! So, while Trump jokes might seem like something obviously funny to go in on, for example, it might not be that funny for your friend who's an immigrant and worried about her family's wellbeing in the coming years. Humor isn't universal, and when you see someone's uncomfortable, back off, don't keep going.Source: iStock
Always Needing To Be The BossYou always need to be the planner, the one in charge, steering the ship, with the final say in what your friend group does and where they go. So, how do I say this... if you're a natural planner and leader, that's totally fine - do you, girl - however, when it gets to the point where no one else's opinion really matters or you get pissed off when you have to do something you don't want, that's annoying. Not everybody gets to do what they want all the time. I know that sounds like something you say to a toddler, but some people still need that explained to them, and maybe that person is you.Source: iStock
Never Returning What People Let You BorrowOh my god, if someone lets you borrow clothes, money, or other personal belongings of theirs, RETURN IT. Borrowing is an implicit promise that you'll actually return it in a timely manner, but we all know people who "borrow" stuff and never give it back. It might seem like no big deal between friends, but you're actually showing a huge disrespect for someone else's personal belongings. Whatever you needed is clearly better off with you, right, so what's the big deal? First off, no. Second, you're missing the point.Source: iStock
Butting Into Private ConversationsTake a hint, everybody: if you hear two people talking in whispered tones, specifically seclude themselves from the group, or look at you like "why are you trying to get in on this convo, it clearly has nothing to do with you." Recognize your place and back all the way out. Staying in because you love gossip (honestly, who doesn't?) or you're feeling a little bit nosy isn't okay. Nobody needs to be included in everything. Let people have private conversations in peace.Source: iStock
Eating Other People's Food Without AskingLet's talk about politics for a second: french fries, for example, are personal property. If your friend says you can have one, have one, don't eat half of their plate. Unless you have a prearranged situation with food sharing, like a shared appetizer, or you have that level of familiarity where you can just go in someone's fridge, take your hands off of other people's food. It's bad manners and can totally rub people the wrong way. I straight up had a germophobe new friend who immediately stopped speaking to me when I took a sip from her water bottle. We all make mistakes, but you know it when you're doing this one, so just don't. Source: iStock
Pressuring People To Do Stuff Before They're ReadyWhat's with this weird emotional blackmail close friends feel like they can pull on each other? Peer pressure doesn't have to be all about doing stereotypically "bad" things. If you're pressuring your friend into talking to their crush or going on a roller coaster and they feel like they're not ready, that's really annoying. It's like you aren't taking their needs, feelings, or comfort into account because you're making it about what *you* want, not what your friend would like. Not cool.Source: iStock
Do you do these things? Or do you know someone who does? What’s the most annoying thing people do that you hate? Let us know in the comments!
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.