8 Easy Ways To Be Better In Bed

If, for whatever reason, you ever decided to type “how to be better” into your Google search bar (or any other off-brand search engine, I suppose) you’d be face with four results. In ascending order, the fourth one is “how to be better at basketball.” (I don’t have much to work with with that one, sorry.) The third is, simply, “how to be better.” (Again–not much I can do there.) The second is “how to be better at math.” (I’ve got you covered on that one, actually!) And the most commonly sought-after term that people all over the world (country?) would like to better themselves in? Bed, apparently. Everyone wants to be better in bed! Here is some proof, if proof is the sort of thing you are into:

proof

Now, if you think about it, being “better in bed” is a desire that a lot of people have, as you see above, but would also probably have a tough time really nailing down when it comes to its specifics. You know that this–being better in bed--is something you’re supposed to want, but the goal itself is so nebulous and vague (what is “better?” What is this “bed?” What is anything, truly?) that it can be difficult to do yourself. Well, if this is the case for you, don’t worry! I’ve got the specifics for you today. So, check out these easy ways to be better in bed, if that is the thing you are choosing to better yourself in today:


Communicate

A lot of people think that communication in bed can be a boner-killer, both for guys and girls, but, really, the opposite is true. Telling your partner what you like and don't like makes the experience better for everyone, since you're basically providing a blueprint of what your ideal sec experience (a "sexperience" if you will) is. You can make this a dirty talk thing if you'd like, but you don't have to--as long as you're making it clear what you're into and what you're not into (in a nice way, obviously, which I'll get to in a moment) you'll be all set.

Image source: iStock

Don't Make Fast Judgments

At the same time, sharing what's working for you and what's not working for you doesn't mean that you should totally shut down anything unexpected that comes your way. People are vulnerable during sex, so your partner might say something or ask for something you weren't exactly expecting. Obviously, this doesn't mean that you have to actually do anything that you don't feel comfortable with--"not kink-shaming" is different from "ignoring your personal boundaries," you know? But if you're with someone that you care about, and the thing they asked you to do isn't offensive, necessarily, just something you're not particularly into, just say "I don't want to do that" or "I don't feel comfortable with that right now," rather than something like "Ew, gross--I can't believe you would ask me to do that." This way, you're firm and clear without hurting anyone's feelings.

Image source: iStock

Be Adaptable

Adaptability is something that goes hand-in-hand (but is not necessarily interchangeable) with lowering your judgments. This means switching up positions, being creative, and not being afraid to try something new. Have fun! If you are, your partner probably will, too.

Image source: iStock

Don't Skimp On Foreplay

Foreplay is important! It is especially important for women, since it helps increase lubrication and make your clitoris become erect, both of which will make sex feel better for you. Plus, if you're feeling a little nervous, making out (or something) for a while can help soothe your nerves, which, in turn, will make your partner feel more comfortable with you. So no matter who you're having sex with, you should make an effort to prolong your foreplay.

Image source: iStock

Know What Works For You...

You know your body best, which means that you know what gets you going and what, well, does not. The first step is telling your partner what you like--then, after that, you can show them what you like. Grab their hair and tug it gently. Move your hips. Or, you literally just say "I like that." I don't know your life, but I am almost positive that this strategy works just fine in almost every situation.

Image source: iStock

...But Don't Prioritize Your Needs Above Your Partner's

Don't be a jerk--it's not nice to constantly put your needs above others, and it's really not nice to do that when you're having sex. That is, don't expect your partner to do all the work without doing anything for them in return (unless you've talked about it before and they're fine with putting in more effort than you are). Also, if your partner isn't being as communicative of a sexual partner with you as you are with them (it's okay! They don't know any better, probably), feel free to ask them what feels good to them and what they like. They'll be happy you asked, and I'm sure they'll be happy to tell you.

Image source: iStock

Masturbate More

Really! Masturbating helps you get acquainted with your own body and figure out what makes you feel good--which, as you have learned in the other slides, helps you communicate what makes you feel good. This can also help you increase your overall sex drive, which will make the act of sex more fun for you and your partner.

Image source: iStock

Don't Sweat It

I know this is a potentially aggravating piece of advice to hear--if you already were not sweating it, chances are good you wouldn't be reading this post in the first place--but it is an important one. You're not being graded on how you are in bed, so there's no need to make the act of being good at sex some huge ordeal and prepare for it like you would an exam. Besides, it'll be significantly better for both parties if you're not totally stressed about it the entire time. As long as you're with someone you like and feel comfortable around, there's consent on both sides, and you're using protection, you'll be just fine.

Image source: iStock

Have you wondered how to be better in bed before, too? Do you have any advice? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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