Of the many things I devoted myself to in the year of our lord 2016–gluing fur to my nails, doing my very best to become a musical.ly star like Jacob Sartorius, trying, and failing, to get an Instagram sponsorship from a popular laxative tea brand–there was no task I gave myself to more fully than trying to destroy the concept of Relationship Goals.
In the end, I have to admit that this was a futile exercise. While Relationship Goals, in their most common, Instagram iteration with which you are probably familiar–you know, like Jay and Alexis, ludicrously expensive items that exist for the sole purpose of photographing them, and couples who can’t even kiss–are objectively dumb, nobody needed me, specifically, to tell them that.
At the same time, having goals for a relationship is not an inherently evil thing. In fact, I am inclined to say it is rather good. So, while I still belive tht anyone who takes a picture with their significant other and captions it “relationship goals” belongs in jail, there are some good goals that anyone can benefit from. Check out these non-lame, non-problematic relationship goals you should actually have in 2017:
1. Finding the one person who finally understands your kink:
2. Like….really gets it:
3. Is that too much to ask?
My kink is when a guy texts back in a timely manner and doesn't make you carry the conversation.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) January 19, 2016
4. Finding someone with whom you can exchange passionate sexts, like this:
5. And this:
6. Also, this:
relationship goals pic.twitter.com/kH3SvsH8iN
— Anything but Common (@SassyGirI) June 2, 2014
7. And will send you encouraging texts without you automatically assuming they’re making it up:
8. As well as mushy ones that don’t automatically make you want to die:
9. Finding someone who does not make you do this BS:
10. Being with someone who understands your passion for social reform:
11. And understands that BFFs will always come first:
12. And gets how very important foreplay is to you:
? : let me go slip into something a little more comfortable
? : ?
*comes back 5 mins later wearing a giant tortilla*
? : ?
— Denny's (@DennysDiner) March 12, 2016
13. Being with someone you don’t mind being corny as hell around you:
14. And, obviously, fulfills this vital relationship requirement:
15. And this! Not for 2017, I guess. But for one day!
Relationship goals pic.twitter.com/tu0oI5lFCP
— tina (@tinatbh) December 26, 2016
Do you have any relationship goals for 2017? Let us know in the comments!