Isn’t it weird how dating is supposed to attract people to you when, in reality, the most embarrassing and awkward things tend to only happen on dates? I don’t know anybody who isn’t an awkward, stumbling mess when they first start dating someone new, but that doesn’t stop anyone from feeling extremely embarrassed about their behavior, as if they are the only person out there who’s ever done something dumb in front of a new bae. If you’ve ever felt that way, trust me, you’re wrong. There are some awkward dating situations that happen to everyone, even the *coolest* girls who seem to do everything right.
You can be totally sane, smart, and witty in real life, but on dates, your brain somehow forgets how to think and then you’re suddenly knee deep wading through a pile of strange like you’re trying to claw your way out of quicksand. Unless that’s just me! See? There’s no way to know unless you get real about how awkward and strange dating is. Even the person you’re on a date with probably does these same awkward things you get self-conscious about. The early stages of dating are rife with awkward things we pretend don’t happen, but they totally do. All the time. To everybody. Don’t believe me? Check ’em out below – I bet some of these sound more than a little familiar.
1) You think about it obsessively, but try to act chill about it even when everyone knows you’re lying.
Literally anything anyone says about your date puts you on the brink of an anxiety attack, so you just start pretending you’re totally chill, even though you clearly aren’t.
2) You have to lie to your parents so they chill the eff out.
Literally god forbid your mom find out that you have a date.
3) You feel so taken aback by how nice they look you either double down or totally skimp the compliments.
They make your heart skip when they aren’t dressed for a date, so now it’s like… ooooyeah. That feeling. It makes talking the worst thing.
4) The awkward hover when you don’t know how long to hug them when they first show up.
Let me just grip you for a little longer than normal, but like… in a friend way. Or in a sexy way. I don’t know, it’s a hug.
5) You realize that what you’re talking about is incredibly boring but you can’t stop?
I hate it when the person you’re attracted to turns out to be snooze-fest just as much as the next girl. Changing the subject is never a smooth transition.
6) You bring up something awkward and immediately regret it.
Like something you both totally disagree on or some weird school gossip that actually involves them. UGH.
7) Frantically maximizing their bathroom break for phone checking time so that you look very important.
Congratulations, you are now a pro at clearing and reading all your notifications in less than five minutes.
8) You use the bathroom so you can text your friends and end up staying in there for way too long.
You NEED outside advice, until you realize you’ve been gone so long they probably think you’re pooping.
9) Said “Totally, that sounds cool” or “Wow, that’s crazy” too many times, lost track, realized you weren’t listening.
Now those phrases have lost their meaning and you realize that you’ve officially become a robot.
10) Leaned too hard into being a “cool girl.”
What’s up Team Trying Too Hard.
11) Accidentally brought up something you saw on their social media profiles then had to invent an excuse about *why* you suddenly mentioned skiing.
It’s not like you saw the ski lift selfie from two weeks ago and didn’t double tap because you’re careful with your phone and this isn’t your first rodeo.
12) You get so nervous you forget this was supposed to be enjoyable.
Oh, you’re supposed to have a good time on dates? Imagine that.
13) Decided on whether or not you’d kiss them during a typically non-romantic moment.
Does anyone else silently note to themselves that only now would they consider kissing someone? I had a friend decide she’d hook up with someone during a game night with her boyfriend’s friends. Sometimes the non-romantic stuff means the most. What can I say?
14) Decided you never want to see them again during a would-be romantic moment.
OK, so the thought of kissing you is an active turn OFF, so that’s a hard pass, bye.
15) Totally panicked that they think you’re a dweeb and they’d never like to see you again.
Here’s a fun tip: the “I blew it, I may as well enjoy myself” wave of relief you feel after you fully believe and accept they think you’re garbage is actually when you start being your peak date-self.
16) Gone to kiss them and knocked against their face in a weird way.
Hey teeth, cheeks, and ears, how are you? Meet my mouth.
17) Immediately looked up your zodiac compatibility from the safety of your own home.
Haters gonna haaaaaate, but the stars are going to say what they want.
Are you awkward as hell on a date, too? Or are you one of the magical selected few who actually gets to be cool? Let us know in the comments!
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.