If you are feeling a looming sense of uncertainty about what the following year might have in store for you, you can take comfort in knowing that you aren’t the only one. While 2016 was so easy to complain about that complaints about the year basically became a stock joke, there is nothing to suggest that the next one will actually be any better. In fact, the lead-in from this year seems to suggest that 2017 will be significantly worse than 2016. The solution here? As with all times of distress, my suggestion would be to check your horoscope. This could be your real (“real”) horoscope, or the one that, over the past year, I have started to accept as the gospel truth: Tumblr horoscopes.
You’ve probably already heard my spiel on these, so I’ll keep this one brief. Basically, the Tumblr horoscope system is an arbitrary (but perfect) means of predicting one’s future by just sort of deciding what will happen to them, based on nothing in particular except for past experience with the signs and whatever gut feeling you might be having right now. Did I mention that it’s perfect? It’s perfect–and just what you need right now. So, check out these Tumblr horoscope posts that predict what will happen to you in 2017:
1. First, let’s review the past year:
2. Did this hold true?
3. And this?
5. Anyway, here’s what you should focus on next year:
6. And, if you are in your senior year, this is you. Apparently:
7. What team are you on for this (horrific) joke?
8. And who will you be kissing (should you want to kiss anyone)?
9. Will you be dating this person?
10. Um. No:
11. Anyway, here’s some advice:
12. Hah, nice try. Never:
What do you think of these posts? Are there any that you think serve as an accurate depiction for the next year? Let us know in the comments!
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