When it comes to the topic of New Year’s, and the resolutions that people tend to make during that time–good ones, bad ones, fun ones–I am of two minds. On one hand, deciding to take the initiative to change something that you might not like about yourself or your current state in life, whether it’s health, school, or career/related, is always cool. On the other hand, New Year’s resolutions hardly ever work–most people abandon their resolutions by January 17th, meaning that anything you decide to do on the supposedly New Year’s day might as well be done on literally any other day.
One thing I know for certain, though? You shouldn’t have to even think about changing anything about yourself in new year’s day just because you’re single. This sounds dumb, but, apparently, thirty-one percent of people make relationship-related resolutions. This is absurd! I don’t know what you are doing for this upcoming New Year’s, resolution-wise, but just to be safe, definitely do not make these resolutions:
1. Fall in love:
There is nothing wrong with wanting to love and be loved–it is a human emotion that many people crave!–but making your only goal for the new year to find picture-perfect romantic love is, uh, misguided. Instead, try to seek out more platonic forms of love from the people around you. It sounds corny, but it’ll be much more rewarding in the end.
2. Get in a relationship:
Ditto with relationships–you shouldn’t feel bad about wanting to have a bae, but you also shouldn’t make being in a relationship your main priority for the year. Getting in a relationship simply because you want to be in a relationship is a bad reason to start dating someone, first of all, and being focused on relationships and relationships alone is a bad excuse for slacking on all of your other responsibilities.
3. Lose weight so that ____ will notice you:
Losing weight is an iffy, slippery slope of a resolution already–if you do it, it should only be for health reasons and with the assistance of a doctor. Don’t complicate the process by making it about someone else. These kinds of weight loss pledges tend to involve crash diets and juice detoxes that will leave you hungry, hysterical, and more sad than you were before
Plus, if a person only wants to hang out with you after you’ve lost weight, this is not a person you want to be with anyway–don’t reward them by doing anything for them, let alone something that involves altering your body.
4. Put yourself “out there” more:
This isn’t a bad resolution, per se–it’s just aggravatingly vague. If you think about it, “putting yourself out there” doesn’t actually mean anything; it’s just a platitude that people like to throw around when they’re trying to make a change in their life. Instead, try to be more specific. Think about joining clubs, speaking up more in class, joining a meetup group. Any of these things will be more beneficial to you than simply pledging to put yourself “out there.”
5. Get a bae for the sole purpose of becoming a “relationship goals” couple:
No. We know how this one turns out already, remember?
6. Get back together with your ex:
What? No. Come on.
7. Commit to getting the person who ghosted you in your life again:
It might be tempting to go into 2017 with a laser-focused gaze on finally cuffing that one person you never quite dated but now, looking back on it, feel like you should. Don’t do this, though. Usually, those things didn’t work out for a reason (one that’s easy to forget once you’ve stopped talking), and you don’t want to start off your new year pining away after someone who has already demonstrated themselves to not be particularly into you.
8. Get on a dating app even though you don’t really want to:
A lot of your friends might be pressuring you to join a dating app like Tinder or Bumble in order to meet people. No offense to your friends, but if you don’t want to, don’t do it. Dating apps are a legitimate means of meeting people (if you are of age), but they can be draining and require a lot of energy and commitment in order to pick through people and find someone who you might actually want to hang out with. If you don’t feel ready for that, don’t do it. Self-care comes first.
9. Agree to the set-up your mom/sister/friend/pastor has been pushing on you:
Agani–self-love. You won’t find that on an awkward blind date you didn’t want to be on in the first place.
10. Become less “picky:”
If you’ve ever complained about being single, chances are good that someone has told you that you need to stop being so “picky.” This is, uh, not not the case–being “less picky” is coded language for “lowering your standards,” and that is not something that you should ever feel pressured to do. Having standards isn’t bad! Changing them because you think it will make you more desirable is.
11. Say “yes” to a stranger who’s asked you out:
Whether it’s by DM, Facebook message, or a good ol’ holler in the street, don’tsuccumb to the belief that this might be your only option and go out with a literal stranger who’s asked you out. You can if you want! But if you have a bad idea about something, don’t.
Are you making any resolutions this year? What are they? Let us know in the comments!