7 Real Reasons Why Bae Doesn’t Text Back Right Away

You know when you text bae, they take hours (or days) to respond, and then they say some version of, “OMG sorry I forgot to answer you before.” Uh… no offense, but that’s probably bullshit. There are very few people under the age of 30-years-old who forget to text back, or don’t see text messages, or are very bad with their phone. Sure, sometimes they might genuinely mean to respond to a text and then get distracted by something else, but if the excuse is being used a lot, it’s probably a lie. So, if it’s a lie, then what is the real reason bae isn’t texting you back right away? If you’re ready for a truth bomb that might sting a bit, read on to find out.

Nobody wants to look like the person clutching their phone, waiting for a text, and answering immediately, which is why bae might sometimes keep you waiting for a little bit. But once you get to the point where it’s been hours or even days, things get frustrating and confusing. Most of us won’t even confront them, because we want to look “chill” and “cool” and totally unbothered… except, inside, we’re freaking the eff out. If you want to find out why this person is leaving you hanging without actually asking them about it, here are a few actual reasons bae isn’t answering you fast enough. And hey, asking might be worth it – it’s better to know than to feel lost in the dark.

They're Bored

We've all been in that dreaded text loop: hey/hey/what's up/not much, you?/nothing. If you're bored by that, it's because it's boring. You can't expand upon or follow up with anything because you're literally receiving nothing. Maybe they're the boring one who's just bad at being lively communicators or maybe you need to ask more interesting questions - who knows, but if someone's bored, they won't respond. I full on ghosted someone because they were so boring (not my proudest moment, just trying to be honest). If you aren't saying anything that needs an immediate reaction, don't be surprised when you don't get an immediate response.

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They Don't Feel Like Talking

"Why don't they feel like talking to me? They should be obsessed with me!" Fair point, but you might like them more than they like you. They don't have to feel like talking to you all the time. It's also worth noting that selective text responding is definitely a thing and that's the worst. So yeah, not responding to your text could very well be a thought out power play meant to establish you as The One Who Cares More which isn't fair. Everyone has their reasons and not all of them are nice. However, you aren't owed an immediate response because you aren't always someone's top priority, even if you'd like to be.

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They're Hanging Out With Their Girlfriend

Look, I didn't want to toss this out as a possibility, but it needs to be said. If they have a girlfriend and they're also texting you on the side and trying to hide it, there's going to be gaps of time where they're spending time with their girlfriend and thusly unable to text another girl - you know - in front of her. Sorry. Red flags include: "they just broke up with their last girlfriend."

Source: iStock

They're Sleeping, Playing A Video Game, In Class, At The Movies, Eating Dinner, Working Out...

There are legit times when you just shouldn't have your phone on you, so naturally, texting back might come a little bit later than you expected. They're probably busy! And you know what sucks? They don't owe you an explanation about where they were or what they were doing if it has nothing to do with anything. So let it gooooo. I know that's weird because as girls, we're taught to over apologize and explain everything in order to legitimize it, but that's not how boys are socialized. If you're in a straight relationship, this is probably something you're going to struggle with. Sorry.

Source: iStock

They're Confused By What You Just Said

Maybe you sent multiple texts in a row that are pretty long. Maybe you sent a picture of something that they're supposed to get and they just... don't? They might not have any idea what you're talking about, so it's best not to respond and get deeper into the confusion, or worse, say the wrong thing. What they're waiting on, I don't know. You explaining yourself? Waiting on you to change the subject? Either way, they're too confused to accept that the ball is in their court, so to speak, so they're just going to slow-roll it back to you. That doesn't make it cute or cool, but they could just be confused, and people are allowed to be confused.

Source: iStock

They Think It's Better To Respond In Person

If they don't know how to respond via text because this might be better handled in person, they won't text back. Duh, they should probably text back *about* how you two should meet up in person, but sometimes when they don't know how to move forward properly, they just don't move. It sucks because we're left wondering what we did wrong when in reality, they're the ones with the hang-ups. I know most things go down on text today, but that doesn't change the fact that not everything can be handled though texting.

Source: iStock

They Don't Know What To Say Next

Girls aren't the only ones who agonize and stress about what to text next to someone, it just may be less of a group participation effort when they're hanging out with their friends. So, for however long it takes you to compose the Perfect Text, it might take them longer because it's not a collective group effort. From what I understand, they'd rather wait around for divine inspiration rather than run it by a friend or just text back the first thing that comes to mind and honestly, divine inspiration doesn't come around that reliably. Oops.

Source: iStock

What’s the weirdest conclusion you jumped to when they didn’t text back? Was it actually what really happened? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.


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