Whether we like it or not (and I’m sure most of us are in the not category), Donald Trump, orange reality TV star and professional demagogue, is going to be the next President of the United States. Along with a mostly Republican congress and an empty seat on the Supreme Court, the next four years will definitely be a challenge for anyone who is progressive leaning, cares about marginalized groups, and is worried about their ability to have control over their own bodies. But Trump is the one factor that really makes everything super unpredictable, because he’s an unpredictable man with thin skin and–soon–will be the most powerful person on the planet.
Cue scary music.
Before everything goes to hell, let’s take a minute to reminisce on Donald Trump’s greatest hits from 2016. Yes, just 2016 alone has been a stellar year for the presidential candidate to be one of the most embarrassing and despicable figures on the planet. Here are just 15 moments to cringe over.
1. Comparing the size of his hands during a debate
Yes, a group of grown men were essentially having a penis measuring contest on national television.
2. Saying he knows more about ISIS than the generals do.
Um, somehow, I don’t think this is true. Watching Saving Private Ryan a couple of times doesn’t mean that you’re a military expert.
3. Retweeting one of his supporters who made fun of Ted Cruz’s wife, Heidi.
Of course, he defended himself by saying that he wasn’t the one who actually insulted Heidi Cruz. But Trump only retweets tweets that he endorses, so…
4. Picking a fight with the Muslim family of a fallen soldier.
Here’s a summary of the drama, but the quick and dirty is this: The Muslim family of a soldier who died in Iraq were upset about Trump’s anti-Islamic rhetoric. They made their displeasure clear by making a speech during the Democratic National Convention. Instead of, I don’t know, assuring the family that they have nothing to worry about under his presidency, he started trash talking them. You can’t make this up.
5. Deciding that eating an effing taco bowl was equal to solidarity to Latinos.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 5, 2016
Eating a taco bowl doesn’t make up for calling Mexicans rapists, but okay, dude.
6. Encouraging Russian hackers to hack Hillary Clinton’s emails.
There’s being petty, and there’s suggesting that a foreign entity should conduct a cyber attack on your presidential candidate just for funsies.
In a normal presidential campaign, admitting that you use your celebrity to sexually assault women would be grounds for moral disqualification. Unfortunately, this wasn’t a normal presidential election.
8. “Look at my African-American!”
Pro tip: Don’t call your black American friends your African-American. Talk about dehumanizing.
9. “I don’t settle lawsuits.”
Except…he did back in November at the tune of $25 million to people who were victims of his Trump University scam.
10. Calling Hillary Clinton a “nasty woman” on live television.
Reminder: More white women voted for Donald Trump than Hillary Clinton.
11. Saying that he would have won the popular vote if all those illegals in California didn’t vote.
In addition to winning the Electoral College in a landslide, I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 27, 2016
This isn’t true, because millions of illegal immigrants didn’t vote. Oh my God.
12. Getting more upset about SNL than issues that actually matter.
Just tried watching Saturday Night Live – unwatchable! Totally biased, not funny and the Baldwin impersonation just can’t get any worse. Sad
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 4, 2016
“People are dying, Kim.”
13. Him getting so heated about a bad review of his restaurant in Vanity Fair that he decided to tweet about how poorly circulated Vanity Fair is.
Has anyone looked at the really poor numbers of @VanityFair Magazine. Way down, big trouble, dead! Graydon Carter, no talent, will be out!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 15, 2016
Of course, this probably just made more people read the piece (which, by the way, is amazing).
But in all seriousness, watch us get into a war with some country because Trump’s can’t take criticism for two seconds.
14. Him acting as if receiving a debate question ahead of time is against the law (it isn’t).
Are we talking about the same cyberattack where it was revealed that head of the DNC illegally gave Hillary the questions to the debate?
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 16, 2016
Not just that, he’s going on about how Hillary’s campaign had a debate question leaked to her, even though Fox News’ Meghan Kelly admitted that Trump received a debate question too. But okay.
Fun fact: It took over an hour for the original tweet to be deleted and replaced with the non-typo version. Wow, smooth operation over at Trump Tower.
Unpresidented. We wish!
What other moments should be on this list? Remind us in the comments!