Ready to face your demons? Yesterday, Google released its annual “Year In Search” from 2016, and its results are… illuminating. I have to say, of all the year-in-review content that gets pushed out at the end of the year–best tweets! Worst beauty trends! Best Tumblr posts!–I think the Google search roundups are my favorite. It’s the perfect, context-free summary of the year we just endured that simultaneously reminds you of your one-time obsessions that you now find mortifying (Chewbacca Mom, anyone?) and reassures you that, no matter how mortifying they might be, the obsession was perfectly warranted. Or, at least, popular.
In any case, I have always thought that it is your Google search history that tells you who you really are, and that it is your Google search history that serves as the ultimate human equalizer–no matter who you are, or how powerful you may be at, chances are good that you have Googled “Where is the internet?” and “Am I a virgin?” at least once. Anyway, check out these embarrassing things that, statistically speaking, you Googled this year. It’s okay! You can take comfort in knowing that you are not the only one:
1. Pokemon Go:
The most-searched thing, globally, was…Pokemon Go. Not surprising! But still unsettling, yes?
Slither.io–the insanely popular game in which players “control a snake-like avatar, which consumes multicolored pellets from other players, and ones that naturally spawn on the map in the game to grow in size”–was the ninth most-searched topic. Which is pretty perfect for 2016, now that I think about it.
3. Suicide Squad:
Suicide Squad was the tenth most searched topic, globally, and the second most searched movie overall (Deadpool was first). This is not embarrassing, per se, but most people who saw the movie–which is most likely why they were searching for it–ended up regretting it.
Musical group Creed–known for hits such as “With Arms Wide Open” and “One Last Breath”–was the fourth most-searched musical group in 2016. Why is this? I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. Now, it is possible that people were simply searching for the 2015 movie of the same name, starring Michael B. Jordan and Sylvester Stallone, but, uh, no one can say for sure.
5. How do I start modeling?
Ah, fashion questions. My favorite. This was the second most-searched fashion term of 2016, which shows that you aren’t the only person who thinks that getting eleven likes on a selfie is the first step to a modeling contract.
6. How to become a fitness model?
Hey, if you don’t ask, you’ll never know.
7. What is haute couture?
The third most-searched fashion term. And, uh, same. (It’s the “the designing and making of high-quality fashionable clothes by leading fashion houses, especially to order.” Thanks, Google!)
8. What is boho?
9. How to dress like a hippie?
This was the ninth most-searched fashion term and, honestly? Your guess is as good as mine.
10. What is balayage?
This was the tenth most-searched beauty term, and I think it is reasonable. After all, as noted by Racked, it is a word that the iPhone autocorrects to “balata he.” So, search away.
11. How to move to Canada?
This was the fifth most-searched “how to” query in the US, thanks exclusively to the surge of searches of this type on November 8th, I assume.
12. Ken Bone:
I refuse to acknowledge this. Moving on.
The most-searched meme term, obviously, because we will never be free.
Did you Google any of these things? Which ones? I, for one, am shocked that Harambe did not make the first search term on every single one of these lists. Let us know in the comments!