Ask A Guy: What Does Having A Penis Actually Feel Like?

Hey Joel,

This is weird, but my friends and I were at a sleepover the other night and we started talking about what having a penis might feel like. I don’t want one, but I can’t stop thinking about it.

I don’t really have any guy friends that I feel comfortable asking, so I wanted to see if you could tell us what having a penis feels like. Thanks!


I can say with complete honesty that in all my years of advice giving, this is by far the most unique question I’ve gotten, and I will do all I can to answer this from every possible perspective. But, here’s a “sorry for the TMI”in advance –it’s hard to talk about this without getting a bit graphic.

First off, the bad things about having a penis:
1. Accidental boners. I know this gets played up in movies and after-school specials, but it is a legit problem for guys. You might be sitting in math class or just walking down the street, and the way the wind hits your jeans, or some random thought jumping into your head and BOOM, you’ve got a hard-on. You either have to wait for it to subside, or find some creative way to hide it. Trust me, it’s NEVER cool to get an accidental boner, and has caused guys embarrassment you’ll never know.

2. It’s VERY sensitive. Guys are not trying to be dramatic when they complain about this. Even the slightest knock in the junk can have us wheezing for air for hours.

3. Pee drip. Guys who wear light pants know this one all too well, as sometimes you shake it off after peeing, and you still get a drop or two on your pants…and until it dries, that mark is unmistakable.

OK, now onto the best thing about having a penis: You can pee ANYWHERE! You know well that guys will take the side of a building, trees, hell if there’s a convenient sink and it’s an emergency, we can make it work. Also, group peeing is super simple, and yes, pee-sword-fights happen. Also consider that we can pee super on the down-low if need be.

In terms of what it feels like, well, I don’t really know any differently. I mean, I certainly know it’s there, much in the same way that you are subconsciously aware of your breasts. It’s just another appendage that has its good and bad points.

If you REALLY want to know what it feels like, there’s always a strap-on!

Best wishes,


Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at!

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