People erroneously assume that the only relationships we really have to put work into are romantic ones–because they can be so tricky to navigate–and familial–since they’re, like, blood and you’ll have to take care of them when they’re old. Friendships? Those are the easy relationships, right? No swapping of bodily fluids, no fighting over curfews…you just fall into them thanks to shared interests and bonding over loathing the same people in your grade, and you’re set. No, not quite. Friendships can be just as complex as any other relationships. There are ups and downs, misunderstandings and silent treatments coupled with moments that are so beautiful, perfect, and heartfelt that you’d think it was straight from a movie. But most importantly, if you don’t put work into a relationship, you risk letting is wither and die.
But…what if the death of a friendship is for the best?
Friendships, especially in high school, can be so tricky to maintain since we’re changing so dramatically during those four hellish years. But whether you’ve outgrown your friends or they seem to be the ones who have outgrown you, you have a decision to make: Do you try to save it or let it die? Here are seven signs you need to ditch your group of friends ASAP.
They Single You Out For FunOh, it seems playful enough at first. They'll poke fun at something you're wearing, act really grossed out when you tell them who you have a crush on, make fun of something you did...but it'll all be shrouded under this cloak of, "HEY IT'S JUST FOR LAUGHS WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE." But you know the truth: You're the punching bag, and they love it. Run, don't walk, away from these people because it won't stop anytime soon.
They're Not Woke In The WORST Possible WaysOkay, look, none of us crawl out of our mom's vagina as woke as our Tumblr or Twitter faves. We just don't. And some people are just going to be more invested in being woke than others. That's fine. What you SHOULDN'T put up with, however, are friends who are ignorant to a fault. You know, people who make racist jokes, like slut shaming, think that Black Lives Matter is a curse word...you can try to fight with them or change their ways as much as you want, but don't be delusional.
Their Risky Behavior Is Starting To Take Its TollYou've become the prude of the group, just because you aren't as "adventurous" as the rest of your friends are. This can just be a major symptom of growing apart, and sometimes that's not so bad. But you need to jump ship when you're basically being pressured into doing things that you just aren't chill with, like doing drugs, binge drinking, etc. If they were your real friends, they would have some chill and let you do your thing.
You Feel Like The Mature One In The GroupYou might be in a situation in which your friends...how should we put this...seem stuck in the past. As in, they're just not as mature as you are and you feel like you're reverting every time you guys hang out. Your interests have changed and moved on and theirs haven't. No hard feelings, but you might want to be on the lookout for friends with interests that better match your own now.
You're Being Used (And You Lowkey Know It)You know that your friends like your big house, or the fact that your parents don't lock up the booze, maybe you're the only one with your own car...but once these friends are done using you, they'll just drop you. Why risk that hurt? If you have a strange inkling that you're being used, or you're super aware of it and are just rolling with it because these folks you're friends with are cool, please...you should find a way to have a little more self respect, because you deserve better.
They Hang Out Without You Pretty RegularlyYou shouldn't have to feel like you need permission to hang out with your own damn friends. Honestly, these friends might be the ones who are trying to ditch YOU. Maybe you should make the first move instead.
Everyone ALWAYS Talks About Each Other Behind Everyone's BackThis is a BIG glaring warning sign that your group of friends are toxic AF. Because believe me, if you're hearing them gossip about somebody else in the group, those same people are definitely going to talk crap about YOU when you're not there. Don't bother.
Have you grown apart from a friend or an entire group of friends recently? What signs did you notice? Tell us in the comments!