Just as older generations likely cocked their head to the side in confusion about the term “hooking up,” we’re going through a similar terminology shift with the term “talking.” You’re not dating someone…you’re talking to them. Look, I get it, defining the relationship is just getting harder, not easier. We’re moving further and further away from traditional courtship. People are living longer and marrying later (if at all), women have life goals beyond popping out a baby by 21, and those days of inviting your sweetheart over to meet your parents before you two grab a milkshake are over…because it’s not 1955.
But despite cultural and sexual shifts, it’s safe to say that most of us still want to be able to define our crush as a girlfriend or boyfriend at some point. And it can become absolutely maddening when you and your mutual crush are doing just about everything that you’d imagine a true blue couple does, but neither of you feel ready to leave the “talking” label behind. Well, here are seven signs that you and your crush are actually dating. Use this as proof that it’s time to pull up your big kid undies, take the plunge, and get ready to define the relationship before this pseudo relationship you’re in goes nowhere.
You're Both Over The 'Chill' PeriodI can write a thesis about how awful it is to act "chill" with someone you're into. You know, not wanting to seem too into them, so you take a while responding to their texts, try not to seem too enthusiastic out of a fear of scaring them off, etc. It's so hard to fall into, especially in the beginning of the "talking" period. But if that stage is ancient history and you can freely text bae, like, five times in a row without worrying about doing the most, y'all are probably ready to make things real. When you're past trying to impress each other, that's a good sign. My So-Called Life
You Two Already Go Out On DatesThis isn't just a hooking up and texting. You two are spending a bunch of time together. You're hanging out at each other's houses, you're going out to dinner, you're going to concerts, you're going to the movies... Sorry to break it to you, but y'all are dating. Do you know what kind of people go on dates exclusively? People in a real relationship. So...you're basically in a relationship without calling it a relationship. It's time to change that. Submarine
You Two Talk Every...Damn...DayIf you see each other every day at school, you're always finding a way to talk between classes or at lunch. If not, you're at least texting and Snapchatting each other all day, every day. If this is going on exclusively, what's so bad about doing this with a more sturdy relationship label? Fresh Meat
You're Tempted To Call Them Your BF/GF Anytime You're Asked About Your Relationship StatusSo, someone asks how the love life is going. Are you saying that you're "just talking to someone right now" because that's less scary than saying, "yeah, I basically have a BF/GF right now"? Listen to your gut. At some point earlier on you would have definitely never saw the person you're "talking to" as a BF/GF; that would have been a little too intense. But is that still the case? It's time to seriously reassess things right now before you two are just "talking" forever. y Mad Fat Diary
You Really ARE The Only One They're 'Talking' ToWe've all seen memes mocking dudes who say, "you're the only one I'm talking to" but end up being total liars. Well, I hope that's not the case for you, and assuming it isn't--that is, assuming that your crush isn't interested in anyone else and you aren't either--then what the hell is stopping you two from having a talk about defining the relationship. I know, it's scary. But I'm saying this as somebody who posed the "so what are we?" question to my BF. It's such a relief to get that question out of the way! Some Girls
Their Friends Are Your Friends, And Vice VersaThis isn't essential--hey, not everyone gets along with their bae's friends. But if you pretty much see their crew as your friends (or, at least, strong acquaintances) then that's a pretty big indicator of how valued you are to your crush. It's safe to say that your friends will all say "FINALLY!" once you two are official and stop playing around. Freaks And Geeks
The Thought Of Them Being With Someone Else Makes You HyperventilateThere's this idea that girls get attached too easily, but I think we all know girls out there who are able to hook up with people and not beg for a relationship in response. Hell, you might have been in similar scenarios yourself: You like someone well enough, you hook up, but you aren't pressed if they hook up with other people or the idea of never dating. But if the very thought of that special someone you're "talking to" hooking up with someone else makes you emotional...you're probably ready for this thing you two have going on to be REAL. Hopefully, they're on the same page. If not, well, there are worse ways to find out, and you just dodged them. Twin Peaks
Are you currently having a hard time defining the relationship? Do you think that “talking” is actually different than dating in anything other than name if you’re not just hooking up? Tell us in the comments!