11 Things You’ll Learn The Hard Way In Your First Relationship

It would be great if we could read things once and that would be enough to learn everything about them. It would certainly help with studying. It would also help with all of life’s problems, including relationships. Just imagine how much easier things would be if you learn about them without ever having to make all of those cringe-worthy mistakes.

I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but that isn’t the way life works. You have to make those mistakes to really learn from them. The truth is, you’re not going to learn much when you just read a couple lines about something compared to if you have to deal with the toe-curling, awkward AF, messy aftermath of some events.

It’s something that definitely applies to your first relationship. You will learn so many things from your first relationship about you, about bae, about dating, and about life in general. Some of them will be good lessons, while others will be a bit more challenging.

You may not be able to fully understand the lessons until you experience them, but we can still talk about them. It’s always better to be prepared, right? These are the things you’ll unfortunately have to learn the hard way in your first relationship.

It Takes Work

If only relationships were as easy as some shows make them out to be. Relationships are actually pretty complicated things that deal with emotions, time, feelings, other people, situations, places, and so, so much more. You might think that being chill is the way to go, but it only works with certain aspects.

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Saying "I Love You" Can Mess Things Up

Saying those three magical words is probably the best thing ever, right? Not exactly. Saying *I love you* can actually complicate your relationship even more. What if your SO isn't ready to say it back, or what if bae doesn't even feel he/she is at that stage yet? Gasp. Unfortunately, this one doesn't always end in hugs, kisses, and flowers.

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Honesty Can Be Hard, But It's For The Best

When you're in a relationship, you don't want to hurt bae's feelings. Ever. However, there are times when you try to protect him/her and you end up making things worse. Those are the times when you wish you were honest. Knowing that doesn't make it easier to do, but hopefully it will help in the long run.

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There Are Other Peeps In This Relationship

It's not like that, but if you think that it is just you and bae and no one else, you're mistaken. There are always going to be other people who have an impact on your relationship. They could be parents, exes, friends, or even coaches. Sometimes it can be good, while other times, not so much.

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Comparing Yourself To Others Doesn't Work

People will tell you not to do it, but you will do it anyways. Then you will bring it up to all of your friends and bae. It's just one of those things that is impossible not to do. Hello, you have eyes and you go outside. Stopping doing it will be very difficult, but a few arguments about it will make you think twice before doing it.

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You Cannot Force Feelings

It's a tough one to learn, but it's a fact. You may feel a certain way about bae, but bae might not feel it back, or vice versa. Sadly, there really isn't much that can be done about it. It's true what they say that some people can make you weak in the knees and give you butterflies in your stomach while others, it's just nothing.

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Relationships Are About Compromise

You know there are two of you in this relationship and you know that it takes both of you to make things work, but people often don't get the real relationship definition about compromising until they've experienced it. Sometimes it doesn't feel like it's a 50-50 split...sometimes it just sucks.

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Jealously Can Ruin Things

Ahhh, jealously. Who would have thought that it could play such a big part in a relationship? You can be jealous of bae, bae can be jealous of you, other people can be jealous of your relationship, you can be jealous of other people's relationships, blah blah blah. No matter where it is coming from, get ready because jealousy is going to tinker with things.

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People Have Different Expectations

People are all different and they all have different opinions. Similarly, people also have different definitions of relationships. You might have an idea about how your want your relationship to go whereas bae might have a idea about something that you wouldn't even call a proper relationship.

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Some Things Aren't Just Meant To Be

You will learn this lesson in other aspects of your life, but you will also learn it in relationships. You can call it fate, the stars not aligning right, or just bad luck. Whatever you name it, note that there will be times where try as you might, it just ain't gonna happen, sister.

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Being Intense Isn't Always Good

You might have this romantic idea that being intense and passionate are the same thing and that bae will be the same way. In reality, because intense can sometimes come off as overly aggressive or even creepy. Unfortunately, you never know whether you're close to crossing the line, until you have already crossed it and made your SO uncomfortable.

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What mistakes did you make in your first relationship? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.


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