If you were to ask around, I think most people would agree that we are in good shape when it comes to the beauty products available on the market today. Makeup, and being obsessed with it, is in right now, so we’ve pretty much got it all–shiny holographic makeup. Harry Potter-inspired makeup. Makeup that looks like food for no reason other than, well, it can. But here’s the thing: No makeup you have now will ever be quite as good as the makeup you had in elementary school.
Now, as is the case with a lot of people, I technically wasn’t allowed to wear makeup until I was in high school, so my elementary school makeup collection was pretty limited. Exceptions would made every now and then, however, if I had a violin recital or special family dinner or just happened to sneak some tubes of lip gloss and mascara into my backpack on the way to school, so I definitely knew what I liked.
In fact, I’m sure a lot of the stuff I liked is similar to the stuff you liked back in the day, too–you just haven’t really thought of them up until, like, right now. But that is about to change! If you’re emotionally prepared to feel a lot of nostalgia, check out these beauty products you totally forgot you used to be obsessed with:
1. Body glitter:
You can get body glitter now, of course, but it’s hard to find it in this exact shade of “Blazin’ Blueberry” blue.
2. Glitter lotion:
Or the perfect subtle, shimmery sheen you’d get from your glitter lotion. Like, sorry, but I still haven’t found a highlighter that does what and glitter lotion did.
3. Flip phone lip gloss:
You know, for all those times you had to slam your phone shut and trounce away, except you weren’t allowed to have a cell phone yet. So you made do.
4. Flip gloss:
The only lip gloss fit for the busy, working girl we all are.
5. Hair chalk:
The only way to make your presence known on the first day of fifth grade, really.
6. Super-oily lip gloss:
Like, so oily that it either got absorbed right away or got all over your face. Nothing in between.
7. Liprageous lip balm:
Never let anyone tell you that a rounded, bulbous head on a thing of lip balm is inconvenient.
8. Nsync-branded Liprageous lip balm:
Uh. Why not?
9. One Direction-branded makeup palette:
You know, if One Direction is your boy band of choice.
10. Lip Smackers:
Sure, you can get Lip Smackers now. But not like this.
11. Liquid Lip Smackers:
The sweetest taste of all.
12. Nail Fetish nail polish:
An edgy AF name for a–presumably–edgy AF girl.
You were no one in elementary school unless half your hair follicles had gotten ripped out by this thing.
14. L’Oreal No Tears shampoo:
What word is there for that fish eye, other than, simply, “iconic?”
Did you use any of these beauty products? Did I leave any of your faves out? Let us know in the comments!