I didn’t consider myself a petty person until I recently subtweeted my ex-boyfriend. It wasn’t mean, but it wasn’t nice either. He doesn’t follow me, so I didn’t think he would see it. Spoiler alert: he did. This is when I realized that I was petty. I didn’t care that he saw it. I didn’t care that anybody saw it. I mean, it was a funny tweet. I said what I said and I meant it, and I definitely didn’t regret it. And that, my dear petty friends, it being petty AF.
Being petty is being stubborn and unapologetic. Being petty is starting every sentence out with “I just think it’s funny how…” even when it’s so clearly NOT funny and you’re about to go off on someone. Being petty is calling out dumb people for doing dumb things and not worrying about what they say back at you. Being petty is…important. Obviously, I’m not saying you should be mean to everyone all the time, but it’s important to stand your ground. If your crush did something awful to you, don’t just mope about it. Be PETTY. Post a cute selfie on Instgram that he will definitely see. Let the world know you are a strong lady who isn’t ashamed to call people out for being sucky or doing something annoying.
If you don’t know how to be petty, no worries. I am going to teach you how to be petty, but only in the necessary situations. You don’t have to act this way to everyone, in fact, you definitely shouldn’t do that because that’s just rude. You want to be a ~classy~ girl who can take care of herself and who just happens to be a little passive aggressive sometimes. If you need help, take a look at these tips for being a petty person:
Don't Be Afraid To Hold A GrudgeIf your BFF does something that pisses you off, don't just shrug it off and say it's okay. Be angry! Just because somebody apologizes does not mean that you need to accept it. Give them time to think about what they did, whether it was ditching you or hanging out with your mortal enemy. Wait until they learn what they did was wrong until you actually accept their apology. Or don't accept it at all. You do you. Image Source: iStock
Own Your PettinessIs someone going to challenge you on your petty views? Of course. Are you going to let that ruin your pettiness? Of course NOT. You need to be confident in your pettiness. Stand your ground. Don't let anybody influence the way you feel. You are allowed to be stubborn when it comes to anything that pisses you off. Image Source: iStock
Block PeopleDon't second guess yourself. If you want to block your friend for posting something annoying on Facebook, do it. They probably won't ever find out. Even if they do, who cares? Tell them you're sick of seeing them post cooking videos 26 times a day. Image Source: iStock
SubtweetAs the ancient proverb states: "If someone is acting annoying, subtweet them." By "ancient proverb" I mean "I just made that up," but the concept is still true. Subtweeting has a lot of power. You leave hundreds of your followers wondering if they were they one who pissed you off. Here is a fun experiment: subtweet for fun one day. Tweet something like "Wow, you're so annoying" and see how many friends will text you thinking it's about them. You will feel very powerful. You are very powerful. Image Source: iStock
Show Off On SnapchatLet your crush who didn't text you back know you are having a fabulous time without them by making your Snapchat story 192 seconds of you just having fun. Add a puppy filter and a full-body mirror shot, and send it directly too them for an ultra petty effect. Image Source: iStock
Screenshot EverythingDid your boyfriend make a promise you don't think he'll keep? Did your BFF tweet but not respond to your text? Screenshot everything and anything. Keep it for later. Use it in a fight. Own your pettiness. Image Source: iStock
Don't Text BackMaybe your crush IS texting you back, but it took them three and a half hours. No worries, all you have to do is take four and a half hours to respond. Bonus points if you send you a "double text." The ball is totally in your court. Image Source: iStock
Turn On Your Read ReceiptsThe PETTIEST OF ALL PETTY THINGS: turning on your read receipts. It let's them know that you read their text but you're too busy/cool/important to respond. Even if you WANT to respond, don't. Unless it's your mom. You should always respond to your mom. Image Source: iStock
Share Petty MemesDid you crush stand you up? Share a meme about hating men. It's like subtweeting, but submemeing. They'll totally know it's about them, but they'll never call you out about it. Image Source
Are you petty AF? Tell us in the comments!