This is really embarrassing, but here goes. Recently, I reconnected with an old friend from high school (we went to different colleges and it’s been about a year since I saw him last). Things were getting really flirty and we almost hooked up but then I had to go. He texted me later saying “I wish you could have stayed” and then (I don’t know what I was thinking) but I said, “Let me know when I can sit on your face.” He said “lol ok” and then we haven’t talked since. Is there any way I can fix this? I really like him.
I have to give you props for dropping that line to him via text. Bold and to the point, and just awesome on so many levels! As I see it, there was no way you could lose in that situation, and had you not sent the text, my advice would have been to be more forward about your wants. Way to put your desires out there, and even if it came off as more funny than serious, I know tons of guys that would love to get a text like that.
But, you may be experiencing what I often talk about: guys can be easily intimidated by strong women, and knowing and asking for what you want can come off as strong to weak guys. Many guys like to feel like they’re always in control and somehow ahead of or above their female counterparts. When she becomes a bit of the aggressor or more direct with feelings, guys can feel less of a man and get scared. These types of guys are stupid and a waste of your time, and are basically boys for life. Again, sending the text was the right move, and if he can’t handle it, that’s his loss!
If it’s been a while and this is a guy you’d really like to pursue things with, you may have to take another step towards him to see if there’s any reaction. Maybe be slightly less sexual in nature this time and see if he wants to go out on a real, “normal” date first. Catch a movie, go to dinner, whatever–just put the idea of a date out there and see if he’s interested. If so, then let the date go as any other date would, and see if things get physical again. This will tell you 100% whether or not he’s really into you, and if not, go find a real guy who isn’t scared of modern women!
Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.
Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at firstname.lastname@example.org!
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