8 Worries That You Have In A Relationship That Literally Everyone Else Has Too

If being in a relationship has taught me one thing, it’s that we should take everything we thought we knew about relationships and throw them out the window. This is especially important if you’re in your first relationship, like I am now. I don’t care if you’re 13-years-old, 17-years-old, or 24-years old, we can all get caught up in an idea of what a relationship is supposed to look like, what it’s supposed to feel like and, go crazy when it doesn’t match our expectations.

I’m not saying that you should roll with a relationship that doesn’t feel right. I’m saying that it’s important to have a reality check and realize that you’re not necessarily some neurotic, indecisive weirdo if you have some relationship worries, even if things are going really well. If this is hitting a little close to home and you need some reassurance, check out these eight relaionship worries you have that literally everyone else has too. Don’t worry, you’ve got some company.


You're Not Always Having That Walking On Clouds Feeling

TV, movies, and music has deluded me into thinking that to be in love, you have to always have this bubbly happy feeling whenever you're around your partner. LOL, this isn't true, it just ISN'T. Nobody feels like this all the time, and it doesn't mean that those lovey dovey feelings are gone, they're just not going to be in you every second of every day...and that's okay. It doesn't mean a damn thing. Stop expecting butterflies all the time, especially when you've been together for a while.

Submarine

How 'Sure' You Are About Things

So here's the secret: It's natural to not always feel 100 percent about the state of your relationship. In fact, I'd argue that most people in happy relationships are never in the 100 percent range, and anyone who says otherwise is lying to you. Of course, if you keep getting a feeling that you're losing feelings for this person, that's one thing. But if things are going mostly well and you have a moment of "oh no oh no is this actually going well or have i just played myself oh my God" then please, take a breath. Don't feel like a weirdo.

Pretty In Pink

How Much Fighting Is Too Much?

Couples argue, period. Even love can't prevent disagreements; we're human! Of course, some arguments are a lot more unhealthy than others--unfounded accusations of cheating, resorting to violence, controlling behavior, etc--but I'm going to assume that you're not in that zone right now. Some couples are just a little more argumentative than others, just make sure you and your partner are talking things through constructively. Seriously, it's not like there's a cap on how many fights you two can have before things are in "bad" territory. It's more about style than quantity.

Clueless

A Fear That This Isn't Going To Go Anywhere/Will End In A Breakup

Oh man, this is so common, but that doesn't negate how effing scary this fear is. You probably know it well: Everything is dandy, in fact, maybe things are going scarily well. And then this thought occurs to you. So many relationships end badly, so many people break up, so many things can go wrong. Look, nothing I say will make that feeling go away, but please know you're not alone. If it's any consolation, you're probably more likely to be afraid of that happening if you're in a happy, healthy relationship because you sincerely don't want it to end!

Skins

You're Not Good Enough For Them

This is especially common for those of us with seriously low self-esteem. I'm guilty of this, big time. But my BF said something that really made me stop doing this so much. Essentially, he said that his interest in you is low key insulting his agency and his intelligence. He's perfectly capable of knowing what he finds attractive and interesting in a partner, and I'm that something. In other words, when you're downplaying your partner's interest in you, you're also downplaying their ability to know what they want, and it can come across as super erasing and borderline condescending. Try putting yourself in their shoes next time.

My Mad Fat Diary

Them Changing/Losing Interest While You Don't

There's this nightmarish scenario in which your partner has moved on either in life and/or in their interest in you, while you're still sprung. This can be especially common if you're in a transitional time in life, like starting college or moving to a new school). I'm not saying that those things can't put a strain on a relationship, especially when distance is involved. But if it's not, hey, don't jump the gun.

Grease

Your BF/GF Always Comparing You To Others

This is especially easy to fall into when your partner is more experienced than you or if they've recently broken up with someone. But don't bog yourself down with paranoid thoughts about how much better or worse you may or may not be in bed than your partner's ex, or how your body compares to someone else's, or whether or not you're as good of a GF as somebody else's. Besides, even if there was a comparison being made, why assume the worst? Try not to be so hard on yourself. Accept that the thought is flitting through your mind, and if it's really bothering you, talk to your partner about it. Maybe they'll be able to reassure you that you have nothing to worry about.

Some Girls

Are They Hiding Something On Their Phone

Even if you don't suspect that your BF/GF is cheating on you, it's totally understandable to be curious about your partner's phone, especially if they're very private about it. But just because bae doesn't want you to know their phone's passcode doesn't mean they're hiding anything from you. I mean, you don't want people looking through your phone even if you have nothing to hide, right? Right. Chill.

Which of these worries do you have on the regular? What other concerns do you have, even if things are going well with you and your bae? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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