Not to be a downer, but I don’t really like hanging out with people. I mean, I do love my friends, but I also like spending time by myself. Sometimes, a friend will ask me to hang out with them and I’m not in the ~mood~. I don’t have an excuse, I just literally don’t feel like hanging out. It happens. But it also makes me feel like a terrible person. What do I say? “Sorry, we can’t hang out because I don’t want to?” That might be what I’m thinking, but I don’t really think it’s socially acceptable to say that to someone. So, what do you do if you made plans with someone, but you actually don’t want to follow through with them?
There are certain situations where you’re obligated to hang out with people, even if you don’t feel like it, like if it’s your best friend’s birthday or you RSVPed to a more formal event. In those cases, you kind of have to suck it up and go. But if you want to cancel a Friday night plan to hang with your friends because you’re not in the mood to be social? Totally fine! It won’t be fun for either of you, and you’ll just be miserable the whole time. That being said, if you made plans with someone and you know you don’t want to go, you need to actually cancel. Don’t ever just not show up, because that’s super rude and uncool. If you are trying to get out of plans, there are ways to do it without seeming like a terrible person. I know you will feel guilty, but take a look at these ways to cancel plans without having the person totally hate you for ditching. I promise, it’s okay to not be social all the time.
Be HonestListen, there is no shame in being honest. If you do choose to be honest, break it to them gently. Say that you're not in the mood to hang out. Try and get them to understand that it can take a lot of time and energy to be social, and you're just not up for it. Hopefully, they will understand and be okay with rescheduling. Image Source: iStock
RescheduleOffer another option to hang out if you are not feeling like hanging when they want to. Say something like, "Would you want to hang out tomorrow instead?" You don't have to give a reason for the date change if you don't want to, and it's not like you are completely ditching the person if you are offering an alternative time to hang. They’ll hopefully appreciate the effort you’re making enough to forget you’re bailing out on plans. Image Source: iStock
Give A Lot Of NoticeIt's important to give a lot of notice if you don't want to hang with someone. Don't wait until five minutes before you and your friend are supposed to meet to cancel. Give them at least a few hours- if not days- to cancel, so they have enough time to make other plans if they want. It's just polite! Image Source: iStock
Use School As An ExcuseSaying you have homework to do is a pretty valid excuse, IMO. If someone asks you to hang on a weekday, say you would rather wait for a weekend so you can keep on top of your school work. School comes before friends! Image Source: iStock
Suggest Other PlansIf you feel bad for bailing on a friend, give them a suggestion for something to do instead of hang with you. Say something like, "I'm sorry, I don't think I can go to the movies with you today, but I hear that another group of people are going and you should go with them." It might seem silly, but it's better than them not having plans at all, right? Image Source: iStock
Tell A White LieLet's be real: sometimes you just need to lie to get out of it. It shouldn't be a regular thing, but I don't think there is shame in a little white lie from time to time. You can say you aren't feeling well, or that you're grounded and can't come out. This is only if nothing else works. You shouldn't get in the habit of lying but, TBH, it happens. Image Source: iStock
Set A Time LimitIf you realllllly can't get out of hanging, be sure to give a time limit. You can say "I can come over, but I have to be home by five PM." It gives you an easy out so you don't have to be stuck somewhere you don't want to be for too long. Image Source: iStock
Did any of these tips help you get out of an unwanted hang? Tell us in the comments!