How To Act Around Your Crush When You’re Nervous AF

Dear Heather,

I have a crush on a really cute guy who I want to talk to, but I’m afraid I might approach him wrong. Or that I might do something to make it awkward. I just want to have normal conversations with him without being all shaky and blushing really bad. He’s just so attractive! What do I do? Should I be mysterious? What should I act like?

awkward gif

Oh girl, I have totally been there. Acting normal and confident and effortlessly cool around your crush is hard, especially when you’re awkward AF. You want to come off as casual and mysterious and ~intriguing, but your brain has decided to take a long nap and your stomach is doing flips, and it’s like, “WTF am I supposed to do now?” 

The bad news is that there is no magic cure that will make you less awkward and uncomfortable and nervous around the person you like. The good news is that, with some positive thinking, you can make things work! I know it sounds corny to say, “Just be yourself!” but really – just be yourself! Don’t worry, I’m not going to leave you hanging with that piece of vague, kind of condescending advice, but I did have to put it out there. Here are some tips I’ve adapted from my own adventures in awkward flirting that, hopefully, will help you.

First things first: approach him or talk to him when you’re somewhere you feel comfortable. Your surroundings make all the difference! For me, personally, I felt better talking to my crush with a friend by my side. Just the two of us felt too intimate, but having friends around made things feel a little bit more loose and low-key. Find your own comfort level. Maybe it’s when you’re around friends, maybe it’s in a certain part of school, maybe it’s at a party. Whatever it is, try to talk to them there, as it will be easier from the get to go.

Second: try talking to him online or through text. I’ve always found that communication via technology is much, much easier for me. It gives me time to think out responses and to get to know the person without staring them in the face while blushing. If you don’t have your crush’s number, try messaging them on Facebook or Instagram or even Snapchat. It can start with a comment on something they posted or a question about something you two have in common. Spend time chatting via social media or text, and then talk in person. Once you’re face to face, you can bring up topics from your online convos and it will feel a little more natural.

Third: embrace the awkwardness. Don’t try to be something you’re not! I know, I know, I sound like your lame guiadance counselor again, but hear me out! Trying to be the cool, mysterious, flirty girl will backfire because it will make you feel more awkward and uncomfortable. If you do something weird, laugh it off. It’s fine! I promise!

And finally: give yourself time. Whenever I used to have a crush, I had a timeline. The first few times we spoke, I was awkward as hell and very, very shy. I would gradually open up until I became super comfortable, flirty, and more confident. For some people, it just takes time. Get through the first few painful encounters and allow yourself some breathing room to feel more comfortable around them. The more you avoid this person, the more nervous you’ll be, but if you keep seeing them, it will start to feel better.

Good luck!

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Posted in: Dating, Love Advice
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