Few things are more jarring and hurtful than realizing that your crush – the person you’ve been talking to, hanging out with, and potentially building something of a future together – might be avoiding you. Being carelessly pushed to the side without a warning is upsetting, especially when it’s happening with someone you have romantic feelings for. And confronting it is almost as hard. After all, you logically know the telltale signs someone is blowing you off – it’s just that you want to be wrong about them.
While I don’t know what’s going on with you and your bae in particular, I am very good at noticing when someone is avoiding someone else. I have excellent intuition because I am a Scorpio, but also I am a paranoid overthinker who prefers to believe the worst. JK (a little). In all seriousness, you sometimes need an outsider to show you what to look out for when you start to feel like your crush is drifting away. These signs that your crush is avoiding you might be hard to confront, but the sooner you accept it, the sooner you can call them a jerk and move on to someone better!
They’re MIA In Your Social Media NotificationsIt might sound silly, but sometimes there is a deeper meaning to the fact that your crush hasn't liked your last five Instagram photos. If they were liking and commenting on your photo and regularly sliding into your DMs, and suddenly they stop, there might be a reason. If bae is always on social media, and they’re not acknowledging you or anything you’re doing like they was before, it’s probably not because they hasn’t seen your posts – they could be purposely avoiding them to give you a hint. The exception here is if your crush never really used social media to begin with, or you know they don’t put too much thought into it. In those cases, yes, a few missed likes could be an oversight. It’s situational! Use your best judgment here. Source: iStock
They Stop Watching Your SnapchatsSimilar to the social media ghosting, actively not paying attention to your Snapchats could be a sign they’re ignoring you. Say they check Snapchat pretty regularly and they’re even posting their own stories – why have they stopped watching yours? Not watching someone’s Snapchat is an active decision. If it happens once, don’t freak out, but if they were always watching your stories and now they’re never on the list, it could mean something shady. Try sending a private snap to see what happens. If it never even gets opened, you’ll know something is going on. Source: iStock
Their Texting Habits Are Painful To Be A Part OfAre you the only one who texts first? Do you feel like you’re desperately trying to make conversation out of nothing? Do their answers consist of responses like, “Yeah” and “Cool” and “What’s up?” and “Ohhh” and “Nice?” Yeah – none of that ideal (unless, of course, they have always been a terrible texter, in which case, whatever). If they went from long messages and question-asking to basically nothing, there’s a reason, especially if it’s happening a lot. Don’t believe me? That’s exactly what I do when I’m avoiding someone. I don’t go out of my way to get in touch with them, I respond with one-word answers in the hopes that they’ll stop talking, and I don’t ask questions because I don’t want to engage. Literally everyone else does this to, so don’t just ignore it. If it happens once and they apologize later on, different story, but in general, the MIA texter is just not interested in talking any more. Source: iStock
They Get Mad When You Ask About Their BehaviorWhen someone feels guilty about something, that guilt can often translate into anger. Say you work up the nerve to ask bae why they’re being so distant all of the sudden. You ask if everything is okay and add an emoji face to keep things from being too heavy. Say their response is something along the lines of an annoyed defensive statement (“I’m really busy with school, I can’t just text back immediately all the time”) or an annoyed detached statement (“Uh, everything’s fine?”) that makes you feel like they’re gaslighting you. If that’s what you get back, a vague anger that you would even dare to ask what’s wrong, they most likely feel guilty for treating you like crap, but instead of saying that, they just get frustrated and give you an attitude. Or maybe they don’t feel guilty – they just feel aggravated that you’re not taking their hints and that they have to actually explain things to you because people can’t read minds. Either way, if someone likes you and wants to keep you around, they will try to convince you everything is okay – they don’t cop an attitude. Source: iStock
They Say They’re Busy But You See Them Doing Other ThingsOkay, imagine this. You ask your crush if they want to hang out one night, and they claim they’re crazy busy and they aren’t sure when they’ll be around, but they’ll def let you know! It seems promising, so you choose to believe them. Except you notice that they were tagged in Instagram photos just hanging out with friends. And you see them going home after school instead of going somewhere. And then they put “bored” on their Snapchat story selfies. WTF?! If bae is claiming to be super busy, and then they do not seem very busy, they might be lying. Listen, the simple truth is that if someone wants to see you, they will try to see you. If they aren’t trying, they’re avoiding you. Source: iStock
They’re Full Of Excuse After ExcuseBeing busy isn’t the only excuse someone can give! If your crush is full of reasons why they had to blow you off, or why they can’t really answer your texts, or why they don’t answer your DMs anymore, something is up. A few years ago, I was talking to this guy and hung out with him a few times. I wasn’t feeling it, but he was, but I didn’t know how to tell him that, so I just decided to avoid him until he figured it out (nice, I know). He kept asking me to hang out and I kept having reasons why I couldn’t – I didn’t feel well, I forgot I had work, I had to see my grandparents, omg my friend was SO sad and needed me, I fell asleep. Etc, etc, etc. Again – if someone wants to see you, they will see you. Source: iStock
You Notice Them Talking To Someone ElseDon’t become, like, an Internet stalker or anything, but check out what your crush has been doing on social media. If you notice they are suddenly liking, commenting on, and paying attention to another person who is not you, and they aren’t really talking to you anymore – red flag! They have met someone else. I’m sorry to say it so bluntly, but it could be true. Source: iStock
Their Behavior Changes CompletelyWhat it comes down to is this: if you notice that your crush’s behavior around you does a complete 180, something weird is going on. If they were once talkative and flirty and made an effort, and now they’re quiet and weird and never around, they are probably avoiding you and don’t know how to tell you that. I’ve been there, on both sides. If you think someone is avoiding you, ask them. If they can’t give you a satisfactory answer, move on. It’s not worth your time. Source: iStock
Do you feel like your crush might be avoiding you? What do you disagree with here? Let me know in the comments.