7 Ways To Turn Your Friend Into A Friend With Benefits

Relationships can be trickier to figure out than some of the characters’ back stories on Game of Thrones. (I gave up trying to remember most of them after season three.) You might be feeling something for somebody then they can throw you a total curveball and tell you they’re vibing in a totally different direction. We’ve all been there. It might have been with a friend, a S.O, or a BFF.

If you’re feeling that you want to turn your friend into a friend with benefits, it can be difficult waters to navigate. Turning a friend into a BFF already requires some investment, so trying to take your friendship into sexier territory requires even more commitment and some sort of plan. You don’t need to start formulating a to-do list, but you need to figure out how things are going to go to stop your relationship from getting messed up.

I’m going to be real here and tell you that there is still a chance that you could potentially ruin the relationship you already have with your friend even if you try and do everything right. The cold hard truth is that maybe your friend just isn’t looking for more and maybe you’ve creeped them out by asking.

It’s up to you to weigh the pros and cons, but if your heart is feeling that your good friend could make an even better friend with benefits, you might want to go for it. Take a look at the seven ways you can turn a friend into a friend with benefits without making things weird.

Communication Is Key

Sorry, but you're going to have to be a big girl and communicate the idea about taking your friendship to a friends with benefits relationship. There's really no other way around it. Think about it this way: If you cannot talk to your friend about the idea, how the heck are you ever going to be able to go through with it if he/she is down with it? Exactly.

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Tone Down The Romantic Gestures

If you want this to be a proper friends with benefits relationship, you don't want to be wooing your potential FWB with romantic gestures. Plying them with cards, chocolates, flowers, and gifts will make them think that you're looking for a relationship...or they might just think that you're in a very generous mood. Avoid any awkward backtracking and keep the romantic stuff on the DL.

Image source: iStock

Do Not Force It

If we've learned anything from any type of relationship it is that you cannot force things. When it comes to your friend with benefits idea, your bud is either going to be into it or not. Forget about trying to change their mind. That sexy dance will not work. It's just not going to happen. If you press the issue, it could cost you your friendship. You don't want that, do you?

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Make Your Intentions Clear

Do you still want to hang out with your friend like you did before? Do you want to have separate hookups days? Do you want them to be planned? What type of stuff do you want to do with your friend? Can you have more than one friend with benefits? You've probably got a lot of ideas about the topics in your head, so spell them out. This isn't a time to hint at what you really want. Make it crystal clear how you want things to go. Then have your friend share his/her thoughts.

Image source: iStock

Try To Set Some Ground Rules

That's great if your buddy is into the idea of being friends with benefits, but you need to make sure that you're on the same page with how things are going to go. Friends with benefits can mean a lot of different things to different people. You need to figure out what your relationship will be like going forward compared to how it was in the past. Most importantly, you need to agree on the terms.

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Do Not Pounce On Them

An ~*impromptu*~ hookup might seem like a good idea to gauge your friend's interest in whether you should be friends with benefits or not, but it will end up making a mess of things. Your friend could totally reject your kiss, or they could mistake it for thinking that you want a full-on relationship with them. Skip the hookup so you don't have to deal with any weird convos explaining what your kiss was really about.

Image source: iStock

Know When To Stop

You need to know when to pull out of operation friends with benefits before the plan ruins the great relationship you already have with your friend. Every relationship is different and you probably know your friend better than anyone, so you should understand when they're not feeling something. Whatever you do, do not leave it too late. Kissing your relationship goodbye isn't the goal at all.

Image source: iStock

Have you ever turned a friend into a friend with benefits? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.


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  • Akko M.

    I love that there’s a picture of two girls 🙂