8 Things You Can Never Control In A Relationship

You’ve probably figured it out by now, but I’m going to say it again anyways: Relationships take work. It would be nice if it was all hugs, kisses, and sweet nothings all of the time, but that isn’t reality. That isn’t even most romantic comedies. Relationships are about compromise, making the effort, and investment. This also means that, as much as you might try, there are some things about them that you can never control. Most people find this hard to accept, which is why a lot of relationships fail.

You probably try really, really hard to make your relationship the best it can be, right? (Otherwise, why would you even bother to be in it in the first place?) Props to you. But even if you try to do everything you possibly can to make a good relationship for you and bae, there are some things you won’t be able to change.

I wish I could be the one to tell you that there was some way around this, but there isn’t. What I’m here to do is to tell you about the things you cannot control so you can stop stressing about trying to change them. They are what they are, so it is up to you to decide if you are okay with them being what they are or if you’re done with them. These are eight things you will never be able to control in any relationship.


A Person's Feelings

You can't control if your significant other gets hurt over something you don't think is a big deal. You can't change their mind if they start to fall out of love with you. You can't do something to get them to come back if they start liking someone else. It's sad to think about, but it's true. Your bae is going to have their own feelings and emotions, some of which you won't like or agree with, and that's just how it is!

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Someone Cheating

When someone cheats on you, it's easy to turn the blame on yourself and think, "What did I do that made them do this?" or "Maybe if I did this differently, this wouldn't have happened." That kind of thinking isn't going to get you anywhere. If your bae cheats on you, it was their decision, and nothing you could have done would change that. When it comes down to it, it's the other person's choice and actions, not yours.

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Bae's Opinion And Viewpoints

You can argue and have meaningful conversations about different topics, but it isn't very likely that you're ever going to change your SO's opinion on issues that he/she feels very strongly about. Think about it: Would bae change your opinion about certain issues? Nah. Plus, the beauty of a relationship is that you are two different people. They're allowed to disagree with you on something and vice versa.

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Other People Besides You Two

Sometimes, when you're in a relationship, you have to deal with friends who are jealous, or friends who don't like your S.O., or their friends who don't like you. You might have to deal with other people who want to flirt with your bae, or people who say you guys aren't going to last. It's all annoying, but you can't control them, just like you can't control your partner. Stop focusing on what others have to say - it's none of their business.

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Your SO's Dreams

Sometimes, your dreams for your futrue, and bae's dreams for their future don't line up - you want different things. This is sad, and it can make things tough, but don't try to change their mind, and don't let them do the same to you. You can't control what they want, and you should never try to - it's not fair to them.

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Their Attraction Towards Other People

Newsflash: your significant other is going to be attracted to other people, whether you like it or not. The fact that they find another person cute doens't mean they don't find you cute. Just becasue they say they want to be with a celebrity doesn't mean they don't think you're good enough. Them staring a second too long at another girl isn't them saying you're ugly. Get it? You can't control the fact that they will think other people are cute, so don't bother trying. It will just drive you crazy.

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What Happened In The Past

One of my biggest pet peeves is watching some of my girl friends try to hide their dating past from their current significant other. They can't tell their S.O. that someone they just said hi to is an ex. Their S.O. gets irrationally jealous over the fact that their partner once hooked up with someone else. It's so unhealthy! Your bae had a life before you, and there's nothing you can do about it. Even if you were able to travel back in time, you probably couldn't control everything that happened in the past. It may be hard, but you need to stop focusing on what's already transpired. What's going on in the present and possibly in the future is so much more important than what has already happened.

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Bae In General

Bae is his/her own person and you cannot control a person. Some people may try to in relationships, but you will never, ever be fully able to control someone. And you shouldn't want to. You should either love and accept the person for who they are or realize that you're just not compatible.

Image source: iStock

What have you wished that you could control about your relationship? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.

 

13 Things You Should Never Have To Do In A Relationship

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