11 Body Parts You Have That Actually Make You Ugly

Last week, W magazine’s 10th Anniversary “Art Issue” was released, with supermodels Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid on the cover. Normally, a “KenGi“-fronted magazine would barely be notable–another day, another instance of some over-exposed models–but this one is because, if you were to take more than a cursory glance at it, you’d arrive at one of two conclusions. The first is that, on the same day as the shoot, Ms. Jenner and Ms. Hadid both broke a single one of their legs, and that Gilderoy Lockhart was the only person on set available to heal them, leaving both models without any bones in their right and left legs, respectively. The other is that both KenGi components do have their knees, IRL, but for this particular cover, they have been Photoshopped clean off.

There has been a great amount of discourse, so to speak, in the wake of this magazine cover. Some are chalking it up to a classic example of a “photoshop fail,” and others speculate that the joint loss is intentional. (It is the “Art Issue,” after all, and, as everyone knows, joints are a little too pedestrian to be truly high art.) Either way, their knees are gone, which leads me–as a precocious but highly impressionable youth–to believe that this is a new standard of beauty to which we all must adhere. Joint removal seems inaccessible now, sure, but much like previously-lofty beauty rituals like contouring and Fit Tea, will soon become an everyday requirement for women all across the board. So, here’s a list of arbitrary body parts. Statistically, you probably have them, but, according to the fashion magazines that made you pick out that lumpy blue sweater you’re wearing, they are #actually just holding you back from being your best, truest, most beautiful self. Sorry! Check ’em out, bbs:

1. Knees:

Artists Lizzie Fitch and Ryan Trecartin explore how cameras, social media, and reality TV have changed the way we engage with the world and with one another. In this project for W’s Art Issue, titled “placebo pets,” supermodels @KendallJenner and @GigiHadid appear as super friendly, domesticated humanoid pets. Fitch and Trecartin see in our relationship to pets a parallel with our relationship to technology, in the way that we’ve been trained to adapt our behavior, our language, and the images we choose to present our changing selves. “There’s a certain power that animals have over us when they respond to us in unexpected, friendly ways,” says Trecartin. “And it’s really them domesticating us almost more than us domesticating them, because they’re training us to want them. Training and taming something is not one-sided. We created social media, but then it changed us because we interacted with it.” Read more in an interview with @DianeSolway on wmag.com. Photo by @jasonkibblerstudio, styled by @patrickmackieinsta.

A photo posted by W magazine (@wmag) on


2. Elbow joints:


No offense, but do not come around me if you have any mobility in your upper extremities. Thanks.

3. Toes under three inches long:

Get you a girl with finger-length toes, as they say.

4. Armpits:

My new cover! Thank you @maxim.india #pctopsmaximhot100 #maximhot100 @stephaniebbmakeup @tedgibson

A photo posted by Priyanka Chopra (@priyankachopra) on

Sorry! I don’t make the rules here.
5. Left legs:

Tick, Tock, it’s here. Check out the new #PLL poster! #SaveHanna

A photo posted by Freeform (@freeform) on

Amputating the entire left leg is a good substitute for joint removal, if you’d prefer that.

6. Left arms:


Two arms? Normal. Boring. One arm, on the other, ah, hand, is fashion.

7. Left feet:

When you’re tryna look cute even tho you got two right feet

A photo posted by Ally Brooke (@allybrookeofficial) on

In fact, just go ahead and get rid of everything on the left side of your body. You’ll be ahead of the curve!
8. Your hips:

Even Zendaya’s hips.
9. Nipples:
Forget about their “biological purpose!”
10. Your upper arm:
Who needs it?
11. Your forearm:

Ahhh. There we go.
(P.S. Literally JK.)

Do you have any of these body parts? Do you feel like they are normal? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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