Growing up, my friends always made fun of me for talking to my mom about everything. I talked (or talk, because tit still happens) to her about everything, including the taboo stuff you’re technically not supposed to tell your mom. Except, I’m not sure who made up those rules, because you should definitely talk about those things with her. My mom wasn’t strict, but I’ve heard that adage over and over again that your mom is supposed to be your mom and not your friend. That is until, of course, you turn 18 and then you can suddenly be peers and form a friendship. False. I’d like to make a casual announcement, everybody: you can start to form a friendship with your mom whenever you want. That didn’t mean that my mom didn’t discipline me or have an authoritative say over my life because she was also my friend – she was my mom first – and even when we’re all 40-years-old or whatever, they’ll still be our moms first.
Of course, there’s the fear that you’ll disappoint her by disclosing something private or that you’ll be punished, but you’ll be surprised with how much your mom is actually cool with if you just open the conversation and talk to her. Again, I didn’t have strict parents, so maybe this isn’t the case for you, but I still believe that those things you feel nervous about bringing up with her in conversation are actually going to be okay when it comes time to have that talk. Talking to your parents in a casual, open way doesn’t ever feel natural, really, but it’s important when it comes to having an open, honest, trusting relationship with them. Moms are rad and I don’t think they get enough credit. If you’re nervous or don’t know where to start, these are 10 taboo topics you should definitely talk to your mom about.
Losing Your VirginityMy friend's mom had this arrangement: "I'll tell you when I lost my virginity when you tell me yours." Sounds like a fun phrase, but this is low key code for "when you're mature enough to talk about sex with your mother, you're mature enough to have sex, I'm open, and we can begin that discussion when you're ready." How brilliant is that? If you've already had sex, let your mom know. Yeah, it will be awkward AF, and this might mean that she'll get weird when your boyfriend or girlfriend comes over, but it's also an important thing to discuss with her. Talking about sex with your parents is gross and uncomfortable, but even if you hate it, talk to your mom about it. She can help if anything ends up going wrong or help you get birth control, or even just be there for you if you need her. Source: iStock
Where She Gets WaxedYes, you should talk to your mom about pubes and hair removal. If she does get waxed, your mom is a valuable referral. I shared a waxist with my mom for a while and she even gave me the same client discount as her. Your mom is also navigating the unfair landscape of womanhood where we're judged for growing hair on our bodies and if we deicde to get it removed we're bad feminists or something, and she's been doing it for longer, so just trust her on this one. Moms have the good waxing hook up.Source: iStock
That Weird Thing That's Happening With Your VaginaThe first time you have a health scare with your vagina, you will feel totally freaked out and scared. Yeast infections, UTIs, random discharge (if you don't know what that is, the first time it happens, you might freak out - I did) - whatever it is, your mom can explain whatever's happening and help you. She's a seasoned vagina-haver. She knows what's up. If it gets really awkward and you need to - omgno - show her what's happening, that's fine. You won't die. She changed your diapers, but don't panic, your mom can help you figure out what you need to do next whether that's make a gyno appointment or explain something totally normal with your body.Source: iStock
What Kind Of Birth Control To GetI know I'm not going on the pill. Why? It gave my mom weird blood clots. Now that I know women in my family are prone to that side effect, I can make an informed choice. It also helps if you clue in your mom as an ally if you live in a state where contraceptives are restricted and you can't get the pill or Plan B without your parents' permission. Some things maybe worked for her and some things didn't. She knows the risks and what what costs and will give you an insight to a time when birth control wasn't as easily accessible. It sort of comes with outing yourself about wanting to have sex or regulate your period, but talk to your mom about those, too. That's what makes this topic taboo, but trust me, you'll survive.Source: iStock
If You're Feeling DepressedTell your parents you want help, if you want help. It was good to know that our family's insurance covered therapy under certain parameters and that it was available to me because I didn't know that before. Does depression run in your family? Has she gone to therapy before? Maybe her therapist can see you, too. I'm going to be morbid for a second, but we all hear that phrase of "you never would've known - she was so happy," or "I never would've guessed it, she never said anything." Say something. Confide in your mom if you're truly feeling depressed in a way that doesn't feel "normal," whatever that means to you. Source: iStock
How She Spends And Saves MoneyKnowing everything about your family's financial life is inappropriate and can cause kids a lot of undue stress, so there's a limit on this, and you should trust your parents to know what that limit is, but this helps when it comes time to having to manage your own money. For example, it totally helped knowing that our family had a separate savings account for vacations, teachers don't make money during the summer, and all of our Christmas presents were purchased on credit cards we had exclusively for Christmas that were paid off throughout the year. The same thing goes for taxes. Ask your mom about the different kinds of places she puts her money and how she spends it. Is she on salary, hourly, or tips? Did she get a raise at work? How much of a difference does that make for you and your family? Can she help you set up a checking account so you can have a debit card?Source: iStock
If There Is Going To Be Alcohol At The PartyHigh school parties sometimes include booze. Doesn't mean that it's legal or okay, just that it happens. Your mom doesn't need to think you're all sitting around playing Monopoly or studying, but lying to her might make her more suspicious and not trust you more than if you were to be honest. It might seem counterintuitive to out your friends like this by saying that there's alcohol at a party if you are all underage, but you're going to save her a ton of worry. Mine offered to give me a ride home if I got uncomfortable. Most likely she's not going to want to talk about it because it's SUPER ILLEGAL, EVERYBODY but if you consider yourself mature enough to be at a party where there's alcohol, you can be mature enough to tell your mom.Source: iStock
Your Love LifeHeart break, crushes, if it's normal that you're mad at bae for doing THAT. Your mom's been there, and not just with the person she's married to. I hate admitting that moms have good advice, but you guys, nobody knows how to give advice about your love life like your mom. Everything right now feels extreme and like it's the best thing ever or the worst thing and it feels reductive and annoying for her to say something like "it gets better" or "it won't always be like this," but it somehow feels more reassuring because at least you know it got better for *her.* Does anybody else feel this way? Of course, you won't want to tell her every little thing that happens between you and your person - because some things are private, hello - but if your friends just don't get it, definitely ask your mom.Source: iStock
Being Single AFIt was totally revolutionary to hear that nothing was wrong with me and that my mom stayed single through high school, too. Your insecurities about being single, what about dating is hard, who you have a crush on (I never did that part, but if that resonates with you, go for it) - totally talk to your mom about it. She can maybe commiserate. What was dating like for her in high school? I felt weird as hell being so staunchly single, but so did my mom. And that was comforting in a way that I didn't expect and probably would've never known if I didn't openly talk about it with her. Source: iStock
DeathI hate hate hate even thinking about this, but it's worth having this discussion with your mom. Talk to both of your parents about death. I don't mean what they think about death or whether or not they think heaven and hell are real, I'm talking about their deaths. Parents are supposed to die before their kids, after all, and hopefully not until they're old and ready to go, but in case something happens, in case of an emergency, how would they like to be buried? Or cremated? Who would you go live with if one of your parents died? Do they have any special requests? Do they want a funeral at all? Being armed with this knowledge actually combats any fear or anxiety you have about death because you're prepared. It doesn't mean that it'll feel nice, but talk to your mom about what happens if/when she dies.Source: iStock
What do you talk about with your mom? What would you absolutely never tell her? Let us know in the comments!
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