We all have that one flaky friend. You know, the friend you make plans with weeks in advance, even though you know, know, that she’s going to cancel on you at the last minute. The friend you text and don’t hear back from for a minimum of three days. The friend who constantly forgets everything you’ve ever told her and always hears old information as if it’s something brand new. If you don’t have that friend, then I hate to break it to you – but maybe you’re that friend.
While flakiness is mostly treated as an annoying, but acceptable, character flaw, it’s much more obnoxious than it’s made out to be. It gets old fast, and being flaky can lead your friends to believe that you’re unreliable and untrustworthy. At a certain point, people stop trying to make things work, and just give up on you.
The good news is that you can change your behavior to be less flaky – it’s just that you first have to admit that you are, in fact, flaky AF. You need to realize that what you’re doing is kind of rude and not the best way to treat the people you care about. And then you have to work on it. But anyway, back to the original point, which is – how do you know if you’re the flaky one? There are some signs to watch out for, so check out this list and see what you can relate to. If it’s a whole bunch of them, then you might just be that friend. Sorry.
1) You’re always forgetting to reply to your text messages and realizing at really random times that you forgot.
Like, you glance at a text, think, “I’ll answer later,” and then realize that “later” has turned into two full days. Or you’ll be ready to fall asleep, and then you’ll jolt awake thinking, “OMG I never answered Ashley!” Every once in a while is no big deal, but all the time? Might be an issue.
2) You know the time your friends say to meet up isn’t the real time.
If you’ve caught someone telling you to meet up at a time that is earlier than the real time, there’s a reason they did that. And it’s because you’re never on time.
3) Your closest friends and family members memorize your schedule so they know where you are.
…Because you literally never answer the phone or tell them anything.
4) It’s mostly so when you come up with an excuse, we have a parameter to see whether or not you’re lying.
They know your schedule because they have to.
5) Your friends have basically stopped believing in your excuses.
You can tell they get annoyed when you cancel because they end their texts with periods or just don’t respond at all.
6) Your feel like you need to roll out a PowerPoint presentation for each new excuse you come up with in order to back up it’s legitimacy.
“And as you can see on this next slide, the stress leading up to the end of this week OF COURSE gave me a headache, so it’s no surprise that it landed on today, Friday, and that it’s actually happening for real. Thank you for your time.” You go to crazy lengths to get people to believe you, because even you know you’ve said similar stuff too many times before.
7) You’ve bailed on more than a few things at the very last minute.
You knew it wasn’t great, but you did it anyway.
8) If you don’t bail, you make your friends rearrange their plans around your schedule… before eventually bailing.
Baby, no. Don’t do that.
9) You may have actually stood up one of your friends.
Like a date, but worse, since you already like spending time together and you respect this person, in theory, so getting stood up hurts more.
10) Whenever you do meet up with your friends, they act shocked to see you.
Ha ha ha.
11) You guys joke about how you can never make time to get together because you’re so busy.
It’s not that big of a deal, everybody. Chill out.
12) You know deep down that your excuses are crappy.
But you ignore it. And make more excuses for it.
13) So, you feel the need to apologize profusely any time you flake out on them.
They need to know you’re deeply, truly sorry and that you would never intentionally hurt them or piss them off.
14) You’re still thoroughly convinced it’s not just you.
Everybody’s like this, right? At least to some degree?
15) It’s gotten to the point where you feel like you have to check in with other presumed non-flakes to see if your behavior is actually flaky.
16) You legitimately don’t understand why people get so upset with you.
If you thought you were doing something actually awful, you’d change it, but since you’re just weird this way, what’s the big deal?
Do you have a flaky friend? Or are you the flake of your friend group? Let us know in the comments!
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.