It’s impossible to go through a single Halloween without hearing someone complain about it being a holiday for girls to “dress slutty.” Listen, there are fair critiques out there about costumes that are mass marketed toward women versus men. If a dude wants to find a fire fighter costume, they’ll find one that looks as close as you can get to the real deal in a cheaply made, polyester form. If you’re a woman, chances are the fire fighter costume replaces baggy pants with a micro mini skirt and a protective jacket with a bustier. That’s ridiculous. But usually, the people squawking loudest about Halloween hoes aren’t thinking about gender discrepancies, they’re too busy shaming women for wearing form fitting dresses. Yawn. Honestly, who cares if someone wants to show a little skin on Halloween? Life is too short to be pressed about someone’s cleavage.
Still, let’s be real: There are some seriously ridiculous “sexy” Halloween costumes out there. They’re not worthy of mockery because they’re promiscuous, they’re worthy of mockery because they’re bad and try way too hard. From Sexy Harambe (yes, really) to Sexy Donald Trump (yes…really), check out nine of the sexiest Halloween costumes of 2016.
Sexy HarambeOkay, so this is marketed as a sexy gorilla costume, but let's...be...real. It's Harambe of Harambe meme fame. It's the Harambe, sexified. Like, Halloween is cancelled, y'all. HalloweenCostumes.com
Sexy TrumpA few things. One, this outfit is called Donna T. Rumpshaker. Two, the words "sexy" and "Donald Trump" should never be anywhere near each other. Three, let's hope that this outfit will be irrelevant for future Halloweens after November 8, 2016. Yandy
Sexy Poop EmojiThis is literally a brown bodysuit with a face on it. Like...bye. Yandy
Sexy Ken BoneYes, there is an actual Sexy Ken Bone costume. That's right, Ken Bone, the undecided voter who appeared in the second presidential debate of 2016 who somehow became a meme. You know, I've got to give Yandy.com props: They were really quick with this one. It's already sold out! I'm not sure if I'm amused or deeply disturbed because this is a sign of how weird American politics has become. Either way, what a time to be alive. Yandy.com
Sexy HamiltonOh...my God. Look, I know that the Hamilton soundtrack is still lit and that we all love this musical but sexy Alexander Hamilton costume? For why? Yandy
Sexy GhostbustersEveryone dragged Ghostbusters for the most sexist of reasons this summer, but some die hard fans might want to bust some ghosts in this coochie cutting ghostbusters romper. Okay, seriously, my vagina would cry in this outfit. Yandy
Sexy PikachuThis might appeal to those of you who are still playing Pokemon Go even though the memes have died down. But mostly, I'm appalled by how...terrible this costume is. What is going on here? Pink Queen
Sexy Hillary ClintonHmm, were some of Hillary's deleted emails of a sexy nature? Probably not, but you can pretend while you rock this sexy Hillary outfit with nothing underneath. Insert creepy winky face here. Yandy
Sexy Harley QuinnHarley Quinn is already a pretty sexy character, so it's actually a little funny to see costume suppliers try to make the costume even sexier than it already is? Just add cleavage, I guess. Yandy
Sexy DoryMake people care about Finding Dory again with this oh so sexy cozy Dory outfit. You know what? I just...give up. Yandy
Would you wear any of these costumes? Be honest! If so, which one? Tell us in the comments!