If there is anything in this world that I would not recommend, other than the obvious–you know, like, dressing up like a clown and hanging out on a highway overpass for “fun,” or something–it would probably have to be sexting. You know, the act of exchanging texts with varying levels of graphic sexual nature with the intention of bringing pleasure to the other person and/or yourself? I am not for it!
This isn’t for the reasons you’d think, though. I am all for expressing (consensual) sexuality by any means possible, whether that means is physical, verbal, or written. Sexting, however, is just an illogical choice for many reasons. Screenshot risk runs rampant, first of all. There’s also always a chance that the wrong person–a parent, a well-meaning but nosy friend, a young, impressionable cousin–could chance upon the sext and leave you with a lot of explaining to do. Plus, due to the often-opaque nature of texting in general, combining “sex” and texting” more often than not just goes…poorly. If you have ever tried it, I am sure you can relate.Check out these hilarious tweets that perfectly describe you when you try to sext:
1. Sexting. Dying. It’s all the same, isn’t it?
my talents include sexting, dying, and doing both at the same time
— lacie (@FAIEREY) May 6, 2016
2. A sext indeed:
Sext: let me empty your inbox for you
— Daniel José Older (@djolder) September 14, 2016
3. I mean…find the lie?
nothing makes me dry up like wen ur sexting and a guy says or "what would u do if I were there" like nvm bye I'm over it don't text me
— princess jeffery (@LilGlolita) September 29, 2016
4. Here, too:
sext: I'm uglier than last time
— so sad today (@sosadtoday) June 26, 2016
sext: if Rory ends up with Jess I'm going to kill myself
— Paige (@PeachCoffin) October 20, 2014
6. Can’t forget about those political sexts:
Is Hillary sexting me pic.twitter.com/j0akUtSAiX
— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) October 5, 2016
GF: Tell me you want me
ME: I want you badly
GF: How badly?
ME: I want you [checking thesaurus in a panic] haphazardly
— Sujoyata (@OwnageSAN) April 7, 2016
8. You know when you accidentally just, like, sext your boss?
sexting in sick to work
— Paige (@PeachCoffin) October 1, 2014
ladies: this is how you sext a man pic.twitter.com/iHyXZDrPxd
— the garbage shit boy (@davedittell) February 10, 2016
10. Also noted:
if u get a sext from a girl sayin she wants to take u in her mouth make sure she isnt a pelican I've been stuck on this cliff top for 3 days
— Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) November 7, 2012
sexting in the dms vs timeline interactions pic.twitter.com/V6wloIkHHH
— Closeted Gay Guy (@CGGuy44) September 28, 2016
12. A great sext, IMO:
"I hope your phone dies."
– me, sexting
— Kiss My Tats (@One2thTEXAN) October 2, 2016
I'm the type to fall asleep in the middle of sexting
— Vicente (@kuntachente) May 3, 2016
14. Welp, this is a…method:
Me sexting pic.twitter.com/uJqal6DRVT
— julia penczak (@julia_janie) October 2, 2016
sext: let's sleep for 100 hours
— so sad today (@sosadtoday) August 22, 2016
16. Maybe it’s hard to stay in character?
literally how i behave when ppl try sexting me pic.twitter.com/vG1maSbwp4
— pixie (@bixts) April 30, 2016
17. TOO MUCH:
sext: "Let's get a dog together"
— ㅤ (@thebaemarcus) October 4, 2016
18. Don’t be afraid to be open!
sext : im suffering from depression
— blackbear (@iamblackbear) October 4, 2016
19. The HORROR:
nothing is better than Facebook asking if you want to make your most recent photos a slideshow and it's a bunch of sext out takes
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) October 2, 2016
20. Titillating, truly:
me sexting: pic.twitter.com/Rr4Z90NtjP
— venus♀ (@wokewitch) October 1, 2016
21. Welp. Parting words, ladies:
Every text is a sext if u have the right attitude
— eve peyser (@evepeyser) December 11, 2015
What do you think of these tweets? Which one was your favorite? Let us know in the comments!