I’m a person who has had high aspirations for most of my life, despite being somewhat lazy about achieving them. I knew ever since I was a teenager that I wanted to be a writer, and even though I’m living out some of that dream now, it’s hard not to feel like a little unaccomplished when you constantly see people making bank off of six second videos, girls becoming signed models because of their aesthetically pleasing Instagram accounts, and people becoming wildly successful just for starting a cool project that suddenly got a lot of the right kind of attention. I’m friends and acquaintances with people who are doing so many cool things–appearing on TV and movies, creating fashion lines, being editors of well known online publications–leaving me to feel like a total loser in comparison.
I’m sure that you guys can relate to some extent. This isn’t necessarily jealousy. You’re not green with envy. In fact, maybe you feel inspired by all the people you follow on social media or that you’re friends with IRL who are doing amazing things in their life. Maybe it encourages you to get out there and do something similar. But still, it can feel make us feel a little down about ourselves, right? “If only I was more like this, I could achieve my dreams.” “If only I had more of that, I could have thousands of followers too.” “Why didn’t I think of doing that first?” This thought process is maddening as hell, but as unhelpful as it is, it’s so easy to fall into and so hard to climb out of. But sometimes we just need the tiniest reminders to snap out of it. That’s why seeing things like this on my Twitter feed yesterday low key made my day:
love that this casting director always has printed inspirational quotes in the lobby for actors to take pic.twitter.com/QIN4eI2E7s
— Franchesca Ramsey (@chescaleigh) October 6, 2016
But this isn’t the only affirmation you need to hold tight every day. Check out these seven things you need to remember when you feel like a total loser. This isn’t a cure all–we’re all going to feel like garbage every now and then, some of us more often than others–but it’s a step in the right direction.
Rejection Feels LIke The End Of The World, But It Really Isn'tYes, you've heard this a ton, and I'm going to say it again: Rejection isn't the end of the world. In fact, you might come to a point in your life when being rejected by this college or this job opportunity actually ended up working in your favor. A no is always--ALWAYS--one step closer to a yes. Remember that.
People Become Successful At So Many Different Stages Of LifeIt's really important to remind yourself of this when there are 12-year-olds out there who are famous for lip synching on a damn music app. People become successful later in life all the time; JK Rowling was in her thirties when she came out with Harry Potter (which was rejected by a bunch of different publishers initially, BTW). Not only that, people have so many different careers through their life that not only is it totally fine if you don't know what you want to be when you "grow up" right now, it's cool to know and also change your mind in a few years. It's not like you're going to have a miserable life if you're not famous or successful by the age of 17.
You Probably Have A Lot More Going For You Than You ThinkI know this might come across as super cliche, but this is just a fact: We're all a lot more hard on ourselves than we really should be. It's really easy for us to get caught up with what we're not doing right, what we could improve on, etc. Hey, that's fair, to an extent. As long as you don't get bogged down with criticizing yourself too much. Not only is it demoralizing, it's probably also not really true. Take a second to stop thinking about all the things you wish you could have done, and take pride in the things you HAVE accomplished. They don't have to be huge, you know? Every little bit counts, seriously.
Not Everyone Is Having As Much Fun As You ThinkI love social media, but it really can give off such an off perception of reality. You see someone on Instagram getting a ton of likes, having loads of followers, and on top of that they're doing all sorts of cool stuff. Well, not everything is so peachy IRL. One of my friends has a dream job and a huge following, but the last time we hung out she mostly talked about how miserable she felt, and how she hopes people don't assume that she's alright, because she's not. This was a huge eye opener. How many other people that you think have such a perfect life are actually really down, maybe even more than you are.
You Shouldn't Underestimate A Solid Support SystemWhether it's family, friends, a bae who isn't garbage, a boss who actually motivates you...please, don't underestimate the power of a solid support system. Not only will they help you get through the garbage, they can also help you achieve your dreams in surprising ways. Just wait, you'll see.
You're A Lot Less Alone Than You ThinkSo, not to be a massive joy kill or anything, but misery loves company, and you're definitely not alone when it comes to feeling bad about yourself or your apparent lack of accomplishments.
Your Value Isn't About Material HappinessYou've heard this before, I'm sure, but your happiness truly isn't determined by how many THINGS you have. Please, remember that the next time you're feeling jealous over some Instagram girl wearing a bunch of cool clothes you could never afford if your life depended on it.
Do any of these affirmations make you feel a little less crappy? Tell us in the comments!