I would like to start this off by saying, right off the bat, that I find pretty much everything to be annoying. I was not put on this earth to complain (I was put here, instead, to shed massive amounts of hair in inappropriate locations, which is a post for another day), but it is one of my bonus features, and, as such, I have lots of things to complain about. I will complain the absurd products that are available for your boobs, for some reason. I will complain about the aggressive onslaught of pumpkin spice-related products currently available on the market today. And I will–as I often do!–complain about guys.
You get the idea. So, with that in mind, know what I have to say about people in relationships is not personal. Rather, it is, I will say, an objective generalization. (And, hey–single people are annoying, too.) So, check out these annoying things that people in relationships do and see if you agree:
1. Referring to everything they do with the royal “we.”
“We love this restaurant. We hate cilantro. We’re doing a cleanse. It makes us very happy.”
2. Assuming that their single friends are completely and consistently desolate simply because they happen to be single.
3. Or forgetting about their friends the second they get into a new relationship.
And expecting they can come right back when it’s convenient for them.
4. Posting….everything on social media.
Literally everything–Facebook, Snapchat, Insta, Twitter. Just in case you miss it somewhere.
5. Especially if they use hashtags like “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” and “#relationship” and “#cuties” and “#bae.”
Just in case you, like, weren’t sure. Or something.
6. Only coming out to social events if “bae” can come, too.
No. You’re both cancelled now.
7. Developing a secret language and using it exclusively to communicate in public.
Pet names, animal sounds, and all.
8. Literally never parting during social events.
9. Taking the “codependency” goal to the next level and engaging in gratuitous, non-stop PDA.
Like, seriously next-level stuff–making out, groping. Foreplay, basically.
10. Dropping starry-eyed relationship advice on you whenever you say something even vaguely related to relationships.
Because their four month-long relationship qualifies them for that, you know.
11. Adopting all of their SO’s hobbies.
This affects some people more than others, but when it happens, it’s bad–like becoming a jujitsu fanatic just because bae is when they have literally never even, like, heard of jujitsu before, or something.
12. Assuming that their relationship is the greatest one in the world, and doing everything they can to prove it.
One of the (many) problems that have sprung out of “relationship goals” culture is that that everyone thinks that, if you are dating someone, you have to prove that your relationship is the very best one there is or else. It’s uh, not a competition, guys. Chill.
Are you single? Do you agree that these are annoying things that are most typically done by people in relationships? Let us know in the comments!