I think that one of the biggest lies that pop culture–TV shows and movies–try to peddle to us is that the demise of a friendship is some big, explosive thing. Honestly, sometimes you’d almost wish that was the case so that you’d actually know what the hell is going on. But the truth is that friendships can take a long time to end. Sometimes it’s unknowingly mutual: the two of you grow apart, have different interests, end up with less things to talk about, and just…poof, you two aren’t really friends anymore. Other times–perhaps most distressingly–the ending of a friendship is a lot more one sided, and that former friend of yours is trying to cut you lose as best she can, but she’s trying to be subtle about it in the hopes that you won’t notice.
See, it’s not like the person who wants to end the friendship wants to end things maliciously. You don’t have to become a worst enemy, or even someone they actively dislike. It’s just that, well, they’d rather spend time with other people than you, and they’re trying to do that as painlessly and drama-free as possible.
Unfortunately, intent isn’t magic, and it can still be super hurtful when you finally realize that a friend of yours is trying to cut you lose. But you can at the very least feel a little bit more emotionally prepared if you’re on the lookout for the seven sneaky signs.
Making Up Seemingly Legit Excuses Not To Hang OutI mean, who is going to dispute whether or not a friend's mom will let them hang out? But let's be real, you'd know if their parents were always pretty restrictive. Suddenly, out of nowhere, they can't hang out as much anymore? And yet, they seem to have no problem hanging out with your other friends? Yeah, that's sus. That '70s Show
They Ask If You REALLY Want To Do SomethingThey'll start doing some weird reverse psychology BS to see if you actually want to go to this place, or actually want to do this thing. "I didn't think you were into that sort of thing. Why don't we just hang out another time instead?" "Do you really want to go to that party? I thought you hated Mia." They'll try to start making you doubt your interest in something, just as a ploy to avoid doing it with you. My Mad Fat Diary
They Act Like they Want To Hang And Then FlakeThis is a sign that this friend doesn't really want to hang anymore, but they don't want to crush you. Basically, they'll try to seem really eager about NEEEEEDING to hang out...and you'll get really excited and think, "hey, they're being sincere! They def want to hang out! Cool!" Next thing you know, they're flaking out and coming up with some excuse not to show up. Clueless
You Find Out That You Don't Know About A Friend's New Finsta Or The New GCYeah, that new finsta? You didn't even know they had one until another friend mentioned it (probably assuming you were in on it). That new group chat you accidentally found out about? You're not on it. This is a pretty glaring sign that you're being left out of a friendship on purpose. Skins
They Keep Accidentally Forgetting To Invite You PlacesThat party that you knew that they were at because of Instagram? Oh, they MEANT to mention it to you, but they somehow forgot to mention it to you. LOL, yeah right. This might work the first few times, but you'll start to notice a pattern sooner or later. Some Girls
They Delay All Responses To Your TextsListen, not everyone is required to respond to your texts ASAP. Plus, some people are just garbage at texting (I count myself as one of those people...it's never personal). But when this starts to become a habit when it never was one before...take notice. Freaks And Geeks
They'll Switch Up A Routine Out Of NowhereYou guys always hang out by the grass as lunch, right? Then all of a sudden, your crew just isn't there. Oh, they like to hang out by the 12th grade lockers instead for lunch out of nowhere. Okay, cool, so you meet up there next time, and the time after that...but then they've switched up on you again and start eating by the science building...and then off campus. Yo, what? It's not a problem to get a change of scenery, but a simple text would suffice. If they're not letting you in on their movements, they don't want you to be a part of them. Heathers
Have you ever been abandoned by a friend or a group of friends? What did they do to make it happen? How did you get over it? Tell us in the comments!