The term “friend-zoned” is kind of obnoxious, because it usually comes from guys who think they deserve sex for being nice to you. #ThatsNotHowItWorks. However, the dreaded friend zone can happen to girls too, so let’s just pretend that it doesn’t have negative connotations for the moment and focus on the base meaning: that a person you’re romantically interested in only sees you in a platonic way. They may love you as a person and enjoy spending time with you, but they don’t think of you as a person with whom they could date. They love being your friend, but they just don’t see you guys going anywhere.
I tend to get friend-zoned often. I’ll think that the sparks are flying, but pretty soon my crush is talking to me about a girl he likes or treating me like one of the guys. *insert sad face emoji here* It’s hard to keep getting my hopes up and then have them dashed on the rocks of the dreaded Friend Zone! However, it has caused me to take a closer look at the way I carry myself and act around people I’m interested in dating.
If you’re like me and constantly get friend-zoned, there is a way you can break the cycle. First you have to stop being a victim and take responsibility. Here are some reasons that you’re always ending up in the friend zone:
You're Not Moving OnThere are going to be people who aren't interested in dating you. That's just life. But if you continuously focus on those people who aren't into you, you're going to miss out on the people who actually are. Once you get the vibe that your crush isn't feeling it, you have to pack up your bags and move on. The more time you waste on this person, the more you'll feel like you're always "friend-zoned". Source: iStock
You're Too Good Of A FriendIt's possible that you are such a rock for your crush emotionally that they don't want to jeopardize losing you. They might be afraid that you'll eventually break up and not be in their life anymore. If you've been friends for a long time and have seen them through some tough times, this is probably the reason the relationship isn't going to a romantic place. Source: iStock
You're IntimidatingMaybe you're a badass who is seen as fiercely independent, driven, and smart. Some small-minded guys/girls can't handle that and will automatically take you out of the running for a possible girlfriend. If that's the case, you don't need them anyways. You want to be with someone who supports you. Source: iStock
You Hang Around Guys Who Are TimidIt's possible that the guys (or girls) you're interested in are just inexperienced in the love department. They might be bad at reading clues or lack the confidence to make a move. In these cases, it's best to take matters into your own hands. Source: iStock
You Have Some Hygiene IssuesNever underestimate the power of personal hygiene. Showering regularly, having a great skin regimen and nice-smelling breath can go a long way in the romance department. Go to your friends for tips on making sure your hygiene is on point. Source: iStock
You Have A "Bro" PersonalityYou don't need to change your personality for anyone, but know that some guys are into more feminine qualities while others are not. If you have some "bro" tendencies, it can cause your crush to see you as a friend or a sister. Source: iStock
You're A Lot To HandleIf you fly off the handle easily, are constantly an emotional mess, and are complaining about the state of your life, you may not be what your crush wants in a romantic partner. They might be fine having you as a friend, but they don't think they could support you emotionally on a more intimate level. If you're having trouble dealing with things in your life, it's best to take some time to work on yourself before getting into a relationship. Source: iStock
You Don't Act InterestedMaybe you think you're putting out the vibes that you're into this person. In your mind you're being super obvious. But in actuality, you're not showing interest at all and your crush has no idea that you're feeling them! Unless you come out and say, "Hey, I have feelings for you," you might be leaving the other person in the dark. Source: iStock
Do you get friend-zoned a lot? Let me know in the comments below!