If you’re in school–middle school, high school, college, whatever– it’s likely that you probably feel a lot of internal conflict at, like, all times. After all, school is important for the betterment of both you and society (allegedly) but there are a lot of factors relating to school that you’re probably not all that wild about. You might not like the people. You might not be totally into your assignments. Maybe you just wish you could rewind and head on back to, like, elementary school.
But most grievous among these offenses are, probably, tests. Even if you genuinely do like school, it’s hard not to feel at least some anxiety upon hearing the word “test” or “exam” or any of its derivatives. Like, it’s a sixty-minute period of your life that’s just a crop of multiple choice questions–plus a short answer section–that, in many cases, somehow has the power to either make or break your entire grade in a class. Plus, there are a lot of annoying things that just sort of…happen when you’re taking a test. I mean, if you’ve got a room full of students in a high-pressure, high-stress, ostensibly silent environment, tsome weird things are bound to occur, right? So, check out these annoying things that happen to literally everyone when you’re taking a test:
1. You get a song–like, a bad one–stuck in your head that, somehow, won’t stop until the second you walk out of the classroom.
Once, during a Spanish exam, I had “We’re All In This Together” from High School Musical stuck in my head for the…entire time. I did not do well on this particular test, for what it’s worth!
2. All of the notes that you studied so diligently last night suddenly just…evaporate.
Where did they go? Who could ever say?
3. You can’t stop thinking about, like, everything that has ever happened to you in your life.
Everything that isn’t related to your test, that is.
4. Someone else’s phone buzzes, and you are so consumed by your disdain for them that you simply cannot focus on the test at all.
The very nerve.
5. Worse, your phone keeps buzzing, sending you into a paralyzing fear that it’ll be confiscated and your score will be erased and you’ll be sent to a gulag for the rest of your life.
The “gulag” is the school guidance counselor’s office so they can “talk about your choices and how they affect others,” but still. That’s bad enough.
6. You remember how some random kid in your English class once you that “C” is the most common scantron answer, and while you know that’s not actually true, you can’t stop thinking about it.
You’ve never met a conspiracy theory you didn’t believe at least little bit, after all.
7. Hand cramps.
Annoying, but understandable.
8. Sudden foot cramps.
Annoying and totally inexplicable.
9. Someone finishes in, like, five minutes, which you know means that they couldn’t have actually done it correctly, but it still makes you feel panicky AF.
Like…should you be done now?
10. Someone in the room keeps coughing, and, while you generally consider yourself to be a fairly benevolent person, all of your sympathy is…not with them right now.
Would it be so hard to stay home for *one* day?
11. That one person who always tries to cheat off of you, for some reason, keeps looking at your test.
12. You try to be chill about it and take it as a compliment that they think you’re doing well enough in this course to cheat off of, but, really, it’s just rude.
So you consider failing it on purpose so they fail too, which is NOT PETTY AT ALL.
13. You try to gently signal to the teacher that someone is looking at your test by sort of nodding your head in their direction, but they take that to mean that you’re cheating on the test, so they glare at you until they stop.
14. The ticking noise of the classroom’s clock, which you usually don’t even notice, seems to be growing louder and louder.
Much like Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart,” which you are supposed to be writing an essay on right now in this very! Haha. Hahahahaha. Everything’s fine.
15. You go back and forth on one multiple choice question for, like, ten minutes before you pick one in a blind rage because, at this point, you’re just sick of looking at it.
You’ll find out later, naturally, that the one you didn’t end up picking was actually the right one. Of course.
16. Then, you’re done. You’re drained of all your life’s vital forces, it seems, but you’re done.
But what even is “done,” you know? Aren’t we all just trying to pass the final exam that is life? (Ask this during your next philosophy exam. You’ll get an A, promise.)
Do any of these things ever happen to you during tests? Did I forget any good ones? Let us know in the comments!