As, like, a comprehensive piece, I liked high school just fine. I had good friends, mostly good teachers, I passed my classes, and I got a degree. It was cool. There is very little that I experienced that could have worked as a legitimate complaint for me. But–if I may continue with this art exhibit analogy for a sec–this is not to say that there were not individual pieces within the overall oeuvre of high school that could have used some, uh, workshopping.
Like the classes. And the people. And the after-school activities. And, uh, the most of it. It wasn’t all bad! I just have some notes. Basically, there are certain aspects of the high school experience overall that, based on both my own anecdotal experience and cursory questioning of others, I have come to the conclusion are both universal and unbearable. Check out these annoying things that happen to literally everyone in high school:
1. Having to provide your reason, motive, social security number, and name of your first-born child for, like, a bathroom pass.
2. That one friend who suddenly becomes objectively, conventionally hot and leaves you in the dust for a new squad of similarly objectively, conventionally hot people.
One might think that this is just an annoying movie trope, but no–this is real, and it happens.
3. Having a super-easy schedule for weeks, then having two exams, a research paper, and an oral presentation all due on one day.
4. When teachers are all like, “I know you have a a lot of homework from your other classes, so I’m going to go easy on you…by only assigning you three hours of homework.”
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
5. Or acknowledge that you have a ton of work in your other classes and conclude their statement by saying “but I want you to do my work first.”
6. That person who decides they want to be Homecoming Queen/King and spend the first few weeks of school doing an unofficial “campaign” by sucking up to everyone.
And goes back to their usual behavior right after the election.
7. Asking someone what the math homework was, only to have them request an illegal substance in return for the answer.
8. Having classes with that one person who you don’t really know, but you always know you’ll have at least one class with every single year.
There’s always one person.
9. Having classes with that one person who always talks, loudly, about every single Ivy League school they’ll be applying to, and how, exactly, your teacher is totally screwing them over right now.
PLEASE. TELL ME MORE.
10. Having classes with that one person who posts a screenshot of their SAT score with the caption “Is this a good score?”
It is a good score. You know it, and they know it, too, since they definitely googled it before they posted it.
11. Having classes with that one person who always tries to cheat off of you, even though you don’t know what you’re doing, either:
12. Having classes.
13. With people.
14. Getting a tardy slip–and subsequent lunch detention–if you’re literally two minutes late to class.
Like, come on.
15. That specific kind of stomach-dropping panic you get from walking into the cafeteria and realizing that none of your friends are there yet.
16. When your teacher decides to get you into the school spirit by singing a rousing Drake/Rihanna/Fifth Harmony medley.
Are you in high school? Have you experienced any of these things? Let us know in the comments!