10 Things You Should Do Before Having Anal Sex For The First Time

There’s a lot of talk about having anal sex – what it’s like, if it hurts or not, how long it takes to get used to it, if you would ever do it, etc. While all of that is pretty standard sex bonding conversation, you rarely hear about anything practical, like all of the things you have to do before you have anal sex for the first time. It’s not something you can just do on a whim. You want to make sure you’re prepared, that you feel relaxed, and that you’re on the same page as your partner. This will create the optimal atmosphere for fun sexy times! It doesn’t have to be painful or gross this way.


Though it might feel a little taboo, your body is actually designed to enjoy anal sex! You have lots of nerve endings around your anus that can provide you with sexual pleasure. This is embarrassing, but the first time I tried, I just went right into it without any preparation. I ended up just hopping around the bed in pain because it hurt so badly! Thankfully, my boyfriend and I were able to laugh about it. It goes to show you, though, that you can’t just dive into the deep end with this one.

Here are some steps you should take before having anal for the first time to ensure you have the best experience:

Explore On Your Own

Get comfortable with the idea of having something going up your butt. The best way to do it might be on your own, since you're free from any potential judgement. You can start with your fingers or a small sex toy - butt plugs are a fun and easy way to ease into the next step. The main thing is feeling comfortable with this part of your body and open to exploring it. If you can do it on your own, you can figure out what feels good and what doesn't - and if you even want to go further.

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Talk About It With Your Partner

Make sure you and your partner are on the same page before you jump into having anal sex. You want to make sure they know to go slowly and that you will need to use lube and a condom. Be honest about them about how you feel about the whole thing. Having open conversation about the subject will keep it from being an unpleasant experience.

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Watch Your Diet

The last thing you want is any kind of poop accident during the deed (but... it's totally okay if it happens). To try to keep that at bay, avoid coffee and spicy foods. You might also want to shy away from "sharp" foods like nuts and seeds. Basically anything that makes you poop more than usual should be avoided!

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Go To The Bathroom

You'll want to have a full bowel movement before (as unsexy as that sounds) to ensure that things don't get messy during the deed. Afterwards, jump in the shower or use a disposable wipe. Feeling clean is one of the keys to being relaxed and at ease while having anal sex. 

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Use An Enema If You Want

You do NOT have to do this step, but some people find using an enema puts their mind at ease and makes them feel extra prepared. You can find a simple bulb enema at any drugstore. Fill it with warm (not hot) water- don't use anything harsh like vinegar. Squeeze it into your rectum and immediately sit onto the toilet. You can continue doing the process until the water is clear. This basically empties you out and makes things more clean.

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Put Down A Towel

Just like a boy scout - always be prepared! Putting a towel on your sheets will prevent you from freaking out if anything goes wrong and potentially gets onto your sheets. Knowing that it's there to catch anything will help make the process easier.

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Get Relaxed

Your anus is surrounded by your sphincter. It has to be relaxed before anything can pass through. Having an orgasm before you try anal can help! Have your partner go down on you if you want something more gentle, or have intercourse. You can also masturbate if you want. This might also help you be more in the mood to try it.

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When you have vaginal sex, you don't always have to use lube because that part of your body typically offers it up for you. However, your anus doesn't get wet in the same way your vagina does, and lube is DEFINITELY needed. It can be more painful without lube and lead to sores that you really don't want. 

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Warn Your Partner To Go Slow

Your partner may get excited and start to go too fast. You'll definitely need to take it slow and gradually work into it. This is part of talking to your partner first, but you just really need to communicate this one!

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Know Not To Cross Contaminate

Once you start having anal sex, you can't go back to vaginal immediately afterwards because you'll be bringing bacteria to that sensitive area. Make sure to keep all your toys clean and wash yourselves before moving on.

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Have you ever had anal sex before? What was your experience? Let me know in the comments below!

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  • Siouq

    You should also never feel pressured into doing it if you don’t want. If your significant doesn’t respect you enough to back off if you’ve said no, then it may not be in your best interest to continue the relationship. Its your body and you get to make the ultimate call.