14 Horrifying True Tales Of Kids Walking In On Their Parents Having Sex

You know how babies are made. There is no stork that drops you off your parents’ doorstep. So, in knowing that, you logically know that your parents had to have sex in order to have you. But that doesn’t mean you want to ever think about your parents as people who have sex, or wonder how often they do it. As far as you’re concerned, they only did it once so that you could exist! You definitely don’t want to walk in on it happening, either, because that is everyone’s worst nightmare. Honestly: can you think of anything worse than walking into a bedroom and seeing your mom and dad naked, together, making sex noises? UGH. NO.

Unfortunately, some of us have had the misfortune of not only subjecting our imaginations to your parents’ sex lives, of not only hearing them do it through a wall (at least you can put headphones on!), but actually witnessing it firsthand. When you live under the same roof, accidental sights and sounds can happen. It makes you ask the question: which is worse, being walked in on by your parents, or walking in on your parents? Both are terrifying. If you’ve seen it, then be sure to read these true stories of kids walking in on their parents having sex – it will make you feel less alone. Actually, everyone should read these. We feel their pain, but damn, they’re hilarious.


Why Are The Walls So Thin?

choixpeau: I heard my parents all the time. Our house wasn't soundproofed at all, and my parents seemed to be under the impression that if I was in bed I must necessarily be asleep. On the bright side, they do seem to have a strong marriage and a loving relationship.

A recurring problem I had growing up is that my parents strictly enforced unnecessarily early bedtimes and didn't believe me when I said I couldn't fall asleep. Perhaps if I'd asked them if they'd heard a weird noise around 10:00, they would have believed me about not being able to fall asleep.

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Hot, Hot, Hot

plasticcastle: I went out one night when I was about 18, I wasn't due home till 2-3am. My brother's much, much younger and was always in bed by 8-9.

The club I went to was the scene of a massive brawl between some guy and his friends against his ex girlfriend's new boyfriend and his friends, so it closed before 11pm. I came home and saw the light on in the living room, so I walked in taking my jacket off and talking: So I went to the club and you wouldn't believe what happened, these two guys got into... oh my word I am sorry, I'll be upstairs scrubbing my eyes forever.

They were at it in front of the fireplace. Right, in fact, in the spot where I liked to do similar things with my teenage boyfriends.

Image source: iStock

When They Want You To Move Out

evanhimself: I caught my parents having sex on the kitchen countertop 2 days in a row. By the second day, I kind of felt like they wanted me to see it. This was the summer before college started.

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So *That's* Why They Wanted You To Play Outside

orangepudd: When I was little, I lived in the sort of neighborhood where kids were thrown outside to play and not really expected back until sundown. My shitty younger neighbor wanted something from my room though, so we went inside. Needless to say my parents were doing the dirty. My stupid neighbor got this shit eating grin on her face and I had to basically fight her to get her back outside without making any noise.

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You'll Never Eat Bacon Again

I_Work_For_The_GovT: I caught my mom smearing a combination of bacon, eggs and syrup on my gagged and tied up dad while yelling "HOW'S BREAKFEST IN BED, BITCH!".

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Get A Room

roberthumphry: One time on vacation I had to share a room with my parents. The lights were off and I think they thought I had gone to sleep. I hadnt. I could hear them going at it and I was too young and scared to do anything but lay there and try to cover my ears. Still bothers me to this day.

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Always Knock. Always

RevRaven: My step dad banging my mom on the bathroom sink. I guess they thought the door was locked.

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Not That Kind of Wrestling

cervixbruiser: Yep. I was about seven. And I walked in cos I wanted something to eat. And they were doing it in the missionary position. They said they were wrestling. I said I wanted to play. And I tackled my Dad; Gohan style.

Image source: iStock

Never Setting Foot In Here Again

NatecUDF: Dad going down on mom in the living room.

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Not The Christmas Present You Wanted

masterhikari: 6 years old. Christmas morning. I sprint down the stairs. And there's my dad railing my mom on top of the presents.

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You Never Know People As Well As You Think You Do

South-West: i remember when i was about 18 i came home early from a party and went down into my basement to just chill out for a bit. i could hear my parents talking upstairs in their room when i first came home, thinking they were just having a conversation i thought nothing of it. about five minutes later i hear the headboard smashing against the wall and and my mom screaming "o ya fuck me in the ass" lets just say prior to this i thought my mom was a prude

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Please Let This Be A Nightmare

keepthebrohoofstrong: I had a friend sleep over one night when I was like 7 and after she fell asleep, I began to hear noises coming from my parents bedroom, which inconveniently was separated from mine by a thin wall. I couldn't tell what the noise was at first, but soon enough I realized it was the headboard smacking off the wall. I didn't know what was going on so I creeped out into the hallway and saw that their bedroom door was still open a tiny bit. I pushed it open to see my dad going down on my mom. I panicked and at the time, thought he was hurting her and started crying. My dad got mad and slammed the door in my face for some reason, and shortly after my mom came out with HER PAJAMAS ON INSIDE OUT and tried convincing me that nothing had happened. We never spoke of it again after that, and 13 years later I'm still trying to get the image out of my mind.

Image source: iStock

Never Sitting On The Couch Again

DungPuncher: Walked in on my mum giving my dad a blozzer. Had woken up and gone downstairs (nightmare I think) and walked into the living room. My mum dived behind the sofa and my dad pulled his trousers up. I ran back upstairs. The next day he came up with some guff about her checking him for testicular cancer and that checking is very important. Nice try dad.

Image source: iStock

I Guess That Worked Out?

elliok7: Walked in on my mom giving my dad a handjob, he sleeps naked in the summer but their quick movements gave it away. He told me I don't need to tell them I'm home anymore just turn on the alarm so that's cool because now it's easier to come home drunk.

Image source: iStock

Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? What happened? Tell us in the comments.

 

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