I’ve never squirted in my entire life. I’ve reached climax and had an orgasm, but I want to experience squirting? Is there anything I can do to make it happen? My boyfriend wants me to do it too and I’m worried he’s going to get upset if I don’t.
Google “how to squirt” and a whole bunch of articles promising results will pop up. For those who want to do it in the bedroom, it’s encouraging – until you try out the tips, and realize they, uh, aren’t really working. So, can you make yourself squirt when you orgasm? The jury is out on a legit answer for that one, but we’ll go ahead and say… not really.
Thanks to all of the Internet porn you can find literally everywhere, squirting has gone from a taboo sex act (or, not really “act,” but bodily function) to something more people talk about and strive for. Guys see porn stars squirting elaborately as they orgasm, and they want their girlfriends or hookups to do the same. Girls see porn stars doing it, and they feel like maybe there’s something wrong with their body since it hasn’t happened to them yet. We read studies that claim that squirting is actually just pee mixed with some female ejaculate, and we feel either weird about our bodies or relieved it hasn’t occurred. There is so much out there to think about that it can get overwhelming – and on top of all of the other anxieties you might have about your body, you don’t need “not squirting” to be another one.
There are a lot of tips out there that will tell you how to squirt. Some people advise trying certain positions, because it’s believed that hitting the G-Spot (which still sin’t even confirmed to exist) can make it happen. Others say you need to be totally relaxed and able to let go completely. Some suggest peeing before sex, using a lot of lube, drinking a lot of water before doing the act, practicing kegels whenever you can, and even forgoing high heels (don’t ask). But do any of these things actually work?
The truth is this: we don’t know. Squirting in itself is still surrounded in controversy and questions – there is no one specific tip that is going to magically make your body squirt when you have an orgasm. Yes, I’m sure there are tips that have helped some people (like this woman), and sure, relaxing your body and allowing yourself to let go during sex definitely ensures that you will have a better orgasm. Kegels will strengthen your pelvic muscles and might really lead to a stronger orgasm. But drinking more water? Peeing right before hooking up? Doing certain positions? These things aren’t guaranteed to work.
On top of that, stressing over whether or not you’re going to squirt is going to make it even less likely to happen! Having a great orgasm is tied to your mind, and if you’re preoccupied thinking about trying to get to a certain place, it’s not going to happen.
At the end of the day, squirting is another bodily function that you don’t have a ton of control over. Sure, some women work hard to make it happen, and that’s great! Others can’t get there, and maybe never will. Some have it happen with no effort at all. Whatever the case, it doesn’t make you weird. And if a guy is going to be unhappy with you sexually because of something you have little control over? He’s pretty lame, and you’re better off without him. So, instead of thinking about how you’re going to squirt, relax and enjoy your sexual experience. You’re better off that way, trust us.
What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at firstname.lastname@example.org