7 Signs Porn Is Ruining Your Relationship

Porn is one of the most sensitive and divisive topics around. You have people who believe that porn stars should be pitied, and people who believe that they shouldn’t be condescended to just because they’re paid to have sex on camera. There are former porn stars who talk about how terrible the porn industry is to women, while feminist porn is increasing in popularity as a means to combat systematic sexism in the industry. There are people who believe that porn is destroying healthy sexual relationships, and people who implore that porn is a harmless fantasy that doesn’t corrupt the minds of anyone and everyone who watches it.

Honestly, everything above can have elements of truth to it depending on the context. For example, one of the things about porn that really gets people riled up is the debate on whether or not watching porn is considered cheating. If you ask me, no, it’s not. Sure, you’re getting off on sexy images of people who aren’t your partner. But after you’ve done your business, you’re not thinking, “I’m so much happier getting off to this video than having a relationship.” A porno doesn’t replace the love, care, and fun of an actual relationship, and it’s safe to say that most people who casually watch porn know that.

But on the flip side, what happens when someone takes this fantasy world a little too far? Hey, it happens, even to the most seemingly well adjusted people. If you’re worried that this sounds a little too close to home, check out these seven signs that porn is a ruining your relationship. Whether your concerned about your bae’s porn consumption or your own unnerving habits, acknowledging whatever is messing with your stability is the first step in the right direction.


You're Being Pressured To Do Things Your Partner Likes To Watch In Porn

Porn shouldn't be viewed as an instruction manual, but it can definitely spark interest in trying something new in bed. That's fair if the two of you are both on board. But if your partner is pressuring you to do something you don't feel comfortable with just because they think it's hot when they see it in a porno, it's time to have a serious talk. I wish this wasn't so common, but you wouldn't believe how many emails we get from girls who tell us they want to learn how to "squirt" because they're BF loves squirting porn. SMDH.

Broad City

You Two Can't Get Off Without Them Watching Porn At The Same Time

Has this happened to you: You and bae are making out, getting hot and heavy, whatever, and maybe during oral sex, intercourse, whatever, your partner is watching porn. You're being completely ignored while their eyes are glued to the screen. It's like you might as well not even be there at all! Look, a lot of couples watch porn together because they both get something out of it; there's nothing weird about it. There is something distinctly disrespectful when you're being treated like second fiddle to a blowjob video. If this bothers you, let your partner know. They might not be doing this maliciously, they might think that you're into it or at least okay with it too unless you tell them otherwise.

The To-Do List

Your Partner Is Super Secretive About Their Porn Habits

There's a difference between being discreet about watching porn, and being secretive about it. If your partner feels the need to hide every ounce of their porny life around you, maybe you two need to talk about transparency and trust. Are they hiding their porn consumption from you because you two have fought about it in the past? Are they pretending they don't watch as much porn as they actually do because they're afraid of your reaction? You two need to have a serious talk about this before it becomes an unnecessary stressor in your relationship.

Don Jon

You're Being Pressured To Look More Like Certain Porn Stars

Whether bae is obsessed with one particular porn star or they have a fondness for a certain type, they are free to have their little crush in private. The minute they start implying that you should do A, B, C, and D to look more like that chick who covets that Pornhub video they always watch? Yeah, no. That shows a complete lack of respect for you and it's really unfair. You shouldn't have to change yourself to make their porn star fantasy a reality.

Youtube/Beyonce VEVO

It's Only Okay for THEM To Watch Porn, Not You

If your partner is obsessed wit porn and you're cool with it, but the second you own up to watching porn your partner flips out? Talk about unfair. This is especially unfair if you're in a hetero relationship with a dude; it's more socially acceptable for men to watch porn while it's still seen as novel if women do. This is ridiculous because women watch porn a lot more than one might think. Your partner shouldn't be upholding this inaccurate double standard, and you shouldn't stand for it because this might just go far deeper than a disagreement about porn; it could be a disagreement about gender roles in general. Yikes.

Not Another Teen Movie

Porn Basically Interrupts Their Everyday Life

This isn't just a sign that porn is a problem in your relationship, but it's a problem that is directly impacting your partner, too. Plus, it's a big sign of porn addiction. Does your partner frequently slink off to watch porn? What about if you two are out in public? Do they take porn breaks so often to the point of it interrupting the flow of their day? Does going a few hours without watching porn make your partner antsy or upset?Ther

You Two Have No Intimacy Anymore

This happens at some point in most relationships whether porn is the culprit or not. But if you feel uncomfortable with your partner watching porn when you two are alone together, or you feel like your needs have been ignored in favor for porn viewing, etc, then it's definitely time for you to be honest about how you feel. It's also fair to ask yourself if you're using porn as a scapegoat for another issue in your relationship. Do you feel insecure for other reasons? It's time for some honesty.

Skins

What other signs are there? Do you think any of the signs listed aren’t really a big deal? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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