8 Signs You Shouldn’t Have Broken Up With Your Ex

The worst thing about a breakup is, obviously, missing the person you just broke up with. The second worst thing is regretting the choice you made to break up with them, and/or wondering if you actually shouldn’t have done it. Few things are as sucky as feeling like you did the wrong thing, especially when it comes to your love life. What if you just dumped the person you were actually supposed to stay with? What if you broke up with them for a stupid reason and you never meet anyone else ever again? What if you stay single forever? What if you lost your one chance at being happy in love and now you have to go to every event by yourself and you’ll never have sex again? What if… okay, stop. Relax. Take a deep breath.

With any breakup, like any other big decision, there is always a possibility that you may have made the wrong choice. If that’s the case, there will be signs. It just gets tricky when it comes to relationships ending, because when you’re feeling heartbroken, you want to see those signs – even if you did make the right choice. So, how do you know if you should or shouldn’t have broken up with your ex? This Ask Reddit thread discusses exactly that, and some of the answers hit the nail on the head. Stop your wondering, your stress, and your sadness – here are some signs you shouldn’t have broken up with your ex. So, uh, now what? Talk to him/her. If things are meant to be, you’ll get back together one day.


You Don't Feel Relief

The_hangry_runner: I don't have a ton of concrete evidence for this but generally, right after you break up, you should feel relieved. It's normal to feel sad because of the situation, but the balance of relief vs regret in your gut should give you a good indication of how you truly feel.

Truth - every breakup makes you sad, but most of the time, you'll feel some sense of relief, even if it's tiny. When I broke up with my high school BF, I was super sad, but deep down, I also felt relief that it was over. But my current BF and I broke up for about a month a few years ago, and when I did that, I didn't feel relief at all. We ended up getting back together and we're still together five years later. Sometimes it's just a feeling!

Source: iStock

The Reason You Broke Up Is Something You Can Fix

gingaflo: there is only one circumstance in which breaking up with someone isn't a mistake, and that's if the reason you broke up with them can be repaired. basically, just don't confuse having regrets with missing them. missing them is normal, but you can't go back to the relationship unless you have a feasible way to fix the problems. it's called breakup because it's broken.

If you broke up with this person over something that could be fixed if you guys tried, and you didn't really try, then maybe you both owe the relationship another shot!

Source: iStock

If You Try, You Can Remember The Bad

SunnySweetDee: There's this moment in 500 Days of Summer where the little sister challenges JGL to look at his relationship again and rewinds back to all of these memories of his that were beautiful and it shows Summer's obvious disinterest or unhappiness in the relationship.

After every breakup, you're going to remember the good things and you just have to be really honest with yourself, why did you think breaking up with them was good to do at the time? If it was because it got a little hard then that's one thing, but if it's because they were too controlling or mean or condescending or whatever else the reason might be, then you have to surface those things up. It's really difficult to do at first, but try to make an honest list of what about the relationship was worth while and what about the relationship was not - and if I were you, I'd start with the latter to remember more clearly why this person wasn't right for you. Best of luck, friend, this part is never easy.

Write out a list like this, then read it over and be honest with yourself. Things will be pretty clear after that.

Source: iStock

You Didn't Spend A Lot Of Time Thinking About Doing It

oof_magoof: If you are spending any significant amount of time thinking about ending a relationship, I believe you should. It's just from my personal stand point and experience that if the only thing keeping you there is the fear that you might eventually miss out on something, you are wasting your time. I spent years sticking around because of the sunk costs fallacy. I thought I'd really regret being without him because of what I'd invested in him and our life together. But once we'd broken up, my only real regret (looking back after the grieving process) was that I spent so long with him. Trust your feelings. If you're not happy now, a breakup will be tough, but an indeterminate amount of time waiting for things to change will be worse.

If you didn't spend months wondering if you should dump the person or not, then maybe you did the wrong thing. If you DID spend a long time thinking about breaking up, then obviously something was very wrong.

Source: iStock

The Breakup Alone Means You Shouldn't Have Regrets

Lyanina: If I dump someone, I know there was a reason. That reason is: "I don't want to be in this relationship anymore." And, if you look at it that way, it's never a mistake. Even if there are still feelings, or there are some things you miss -- there's a reason you broke up, and that reason is unlikely to disappear.

The act of breaking up with someone is HARD. If you can get through that and actually do it, that means there's a good reason why you did.

Source: iStock

You're Spending All Your Time Wondering If It Was A Mistake

wouldthatmakeitstop: If you have to ask, it was probably a mistake. If you spend the weeks and months after justifying it over and over to everyone you know, find yourself lying about it and making up reasons for it, it was probably a mistake.

In the beginning of a breakup, you'll always feel sad, even if it was the right decision. But if the second guessing doesn't stop, maybe there was a reason.

Source: iStock

You See Them And Feel Anger

__strawberryfields: If enough time has passed for you to have some clarity about the situation, you run into them and all you remember is how good it was. If all you feel is hatred, then you made the right choice.

If you see the person months later and feel super sad and miserable, then maybe you did make the wrong choice. But if you feel angry or nothing at all - you're probably fine.

Source: iStock

You Never Really Know For Sure

brokenfingersclap: You never know. Not even years later. There are infinite possibilities of little things that could have been different or could have changed in the future. And you change so much after the relationship, as does the person you broke up with. How do you know if you didn't grow to be more compatible, in separate ways, as time goes on? How do you know if those changes you independently go through after the break up took place only because of the breakup and that if you would have stayed together you only would have grown apart because you stayed in the relationship? There is no comforting answer for this question that covers every type of relationship or breakup. Sometimes there are the telltale gut feelings that you made the right or wrong decision. But sometimes your guts have shit for brains.

Sucks, but also... yeah. True.

Source: iStock

Have you ever felt like you regretted a breakup? What happened? Tell us in the comments.

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