Recently I realized that, unfortunately, the social media platform on which I tend to excel most consistently is…Snapchat. Do you know how hard this is? Knowing that the channel that people most prefer to consume the content you provide on is not the platform for jokes or celebrity come-ons that happen to be under 140 characters, like Twitter, or beautiful people with laxative tea sponsorships, like Instagram, but rather the app invented by Miranda Kerr’s fiancé, originally intended for sexting, that disappears once twenty-four hours have passed because the assumption is that you are either in the nude, or that whatever text you provided isn’t worth sticking around much longer beyond that? Well, I can tell you–it is very hard.
Still, engagement will go where engagement will go, I guess. This is my cross to bear, and so I can tell you that being good at Snapchat has equipped me with at least one ability–the ability to tell when Snapchats are good and, well, they aren’t. And I have seen some bad ones! So, check out these Snapchats that you should never send to your crush:
The Same Snap That Was on Your StorySo rude!! Think about how you would feel if you thought you were receiving a special gift just for you, then found out that literally everyone got the same gift. I think I accidentally turned this into one of those purity parables that compares losing your virginity to having a rose stomped on, but, you know. It's the thought that counts, and sometimes, you just want to think that a thought is just going to you, you know? Image source: Cosmopolitan
One Selfie For Every Hour Of The DayThis, obviously, is not a dig against selfies. Selfies are great, we love them, and you should never let anyone try and take them away from you. It's just that more than, say, two or three straight-up selfies that don't have much to do with anything other than the fact you wanted to take a picture of yourself is...a lot. Again, there is nothing wrong with wanting to take a picture of yourself just because. It's just the reacting to it that's tough, you know? If you must take some gratuitous selfies, go ahead and post them on your story. Your crush will watch.
The "Hanging Out With Other People To Bother You, Haha!!! Take That!!" SnapIf your crush has exacted any kind of grievance upon you, is it tempting to go out with some people whom you may or may not be interested in, as far as your crush can tell based on the pictures you've taken and "accidentally" sent to them? Yes. Of course. Is it rewarding, though? Generally, no. It's clear what you're trying to do and it almost always comes across as very immature. Image source: Tumblr
Anything Unnecessarily MeanI mean, I hope you aren't sending mean snaps to anyone--that's not cool ever. But you definitely shouldn't send them to someone you've been flirting with. It will not enhance your game. Promise Image source: BBC
A Command To Send SnapsI don't love getting a command to send pictures at any time just because the other party is bored, personally--not sure your crush will, either.
Extra-Punny Pickup LineThere's a lot of mechanics required for this snap, and I'm not quite sure that it's worth it. It's not bad if you've ever send anything like this! it's just that reactions to a snap of this nature are hard, so you might want to do something more straightforward. Image source: Seventeen
Unsolicited NudesUh, yeah. Don't do this. Girls aren't usually the instigators in this sort of thing, but just in case--don't send any nudes without warning. (Or maybe at all. Screenshots live forever.) Aside from being a little rude (what if they're around their mom when they open it?), if you're not quite sure you can trust your crush regarding screenshots, it's best not to send anything too suggestive. Image source: Instagram
Do you agree with my verdict on these snaps? Why or why not? Let us know in the comments!