Having a friend with benefits (AKA FWB) is great if both of you are on the same page and it’s mutually beneficial. Sometimes you don’t want commitment, but you still want to get some! MORE POWER TO YOU. It’s important to remember, though, that these types of relationships don’t last forever – in fact, that’s half the point of being in one – and eventually you’re going to have to end things with the other person… or they’ll end things with you. In theory this break up should be easy because neither of you are “emotionally involved,” but it rarely actually feels that way. *sigh* If only humans could shut off those pesky feelings.
FWBs are tricky (that’s why there are lots of movies about them). It’s very easy to start to catch feelings for the person you’re sexually involved with because of the intimacy shared. You or the other person might even start to feel like the lines are getting blurred between what you have going on and an actual relationship. It’s Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Trrrrrricky). (Run DMC, anyone?) When a FWB starts to get complicated, not fun, or annoying, you know it’s time to jump ship.
According to this Reddit thread, here are some of the best ways to handle ending things with your FWB without leaving too much drama in its wake. Good luck!
Be DirectCrazy: "Be direct, and remember you don't have to explain why. Just say you're no longer interested/have time for a FWB relationship. If he forces you to explain why, then you can tell him the reasons." A FWB situation requires less in the break up department. However, you can't control how the other person is going to react. Try to be empathetic. Source: iStock
Short And Sweetcptnrandy: "Say, 'I'm moving on, dude. It's been fun.'" The two of you weren't in a monogamous relationship, so you don't "owe" the other person anything. Don't feel pressure to make the split a bigger deal than it has to be. Source: iStock
Make A Clean BreakCutlesnap: "Don't leave room for false hope. You can't prevent a breakup from hurting, you can only keep it from lasting." Avoid saying things like, "I'll call you" or "We'll see." This leaves the other person thinking there's a chance something else can happen, and if there isn't, that's not fair to give them false hope. Just wipe your hands clean of the whole thing and move onto your next relationship. Source: iStock
Be Honestlordo: "Seems like a mistake to value not hurting his feelings so highly. He's going to have his feelings hurt no matter what you do. You can spare yourself the pain of witnessing his hurt feelings by being dishonest, but you can't spare him. It'll be worse for him if you're dishonest and he has to piece the truth together later, alone, wondering why you don't want to see him any more. The best thing for him, unless it's going to kill him or something, is for you to be honest. The things that turned you off from him are very likely to turn off other women. You can do him a favor by telling him the truth, helping him fix the problem so he can replace you faster." Source: iStock
Meet Upiimmtt: "Do not ghost him and do not lie to him, just tell him the truth. You're both adults, so show him some respect and treat him like an adult. If he doesn't handle it well, well, there's nothing you can do about that but stand firm and leave. The sooner the better." It's great to do it in person because it shows a level of respect towards the other person. Don't do it at your place, because you need the power to say, "Okay, that's the deal" and get out of there. Source: iStock
Rip Off The BandaidCardinalsFanatic: "It's like pulling a band aid. Fast and politely direct is better than drawn out explanations." You might be tempted to ghost or be so terrible to your FWB that they just "get the hint," but that's not the best way to go about it. Breaking up quickly hurts more right away, but is ultimately easier. Source: iStock
Remind Them Of The Original AgreementPseudoY: "Remind him of what you told him to begin with and that you think things have gotten a little too close, you're not looking for a relationship right now, and think it's best you stop completely." If you're ending things with this person because you think their feelings are too strong, you might need to remind them that they agreed to keep it casual. It cements the fact that you aren't doing the wrong thing or trying to hurt them - this situation has just run its course. Source: iStock
Have you ever had to end things with a FWB? Let me know in the comments below!