How Do You Start Masturbating?

Hey Heather,

I have a problem. I really want to start masturbating because all my friends are doing it, but I’m only 12 years old and I might be to young, and I am scared to talk to my mom about it. Please help!! How do you start masturbating?

masturbating gif

Three important notes before we get into the question of how to start masturbating: one, don’t start masturbating just because all of your friends are doing it – make sure it’s something you actually want to do. Two, you’re not too young! Once you start thinking about it and feeling interested in it, then you’re ready – if you feel ready. And three, good news: you don’t need to talk to your mom about this. I mean, you can if you want to, but it’s certainly an awkward conversation, and I wouldn’t exactly recommend it unless you feel very close with your mom.

Masturbating is, as you most likely already know, pleasuring yourself down there. People start masturbating at all different times in their lives. Some start at a younger age, while others get turned off by the idea of it or are conditioned to think of it as an inherently “bad” thing and end up avoiding it for years. Masturbating is all about you. There isn’t a set of rules to follow, there’s no real right and wrong way to do things, and there’s no need to talk about it with others if you don’t want to. It’s a very personal thing! I mean, don’t get me wrong – if you want to discuss it with your friends and your mom, go for it. But you should never feel like you have to.

If you want to start masturbating, just pick a time and try it out. I suggest getting in a comfortable position somewhere where you’ll be alone for some time, like in your bed at night or in the shower or something. When just starting out, and sometimes always, a lot of girls just use their fingers to explore down there. You can do this “blindly,” without looking – just feel around and rub gently until you find a spot where it feels good. You can also get a little more serious and sit, legs spread, in front of a mirror to really see what’s going on. I suggest using a little lube to get yourself started if possible.

Using your fingers is your best bet in the beginning, since it allows you to explore the area more. But if you want, sex toys are always an option. Many women swear by vibrators, dildos, or other objects that can be found in sex toy stores. At 12-years-old, you might have trouble getting to one of those places on your own. If that’s the case, just stick with your fingers for now. They’ll get the job done!

For some girls, masturbation comes easily (no pun intended). They figure things out pretty quickly and are able to make themselves feel good right away. For other girls, it takes more time and patience. Sometimes you’re nervous, which makes it harder to get turned on and to focus. Other times, you just can’t find “your spot,” and it doesn’t feel as great as you thought it would. Relax, keep things slow, and keep trying new things until you find what works for you. If you want, you can look up videos online for “inspiration” of sorts. And if you’re comfortable with it, ask a friend for some advice.

If you want to talk to your mom about this, that’s fine – but like I said, it’s not a requirement. You might feel awkward talking to your mom about something so sexual and personal. If you guys have a very open relationship, that’s awesome and maybe she can give you some advice. But if you don’t, or if she’s very strict, you might want to keep this one to yourself. And hey, don’t feel pressured to tell your friends either. Just because they talk about it doesn’t mean you have to. Good luck!

What’s on your mind? Heather can help! Send her your question at heather@gurl.com

 

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