If I may allow myself to be “real” with you all for a sec, as I almost always refuse to be (literally JK), I have a confession. Almost all of the time, I am wishing that I was someone else. Or, not someone else, necessarily, but myself in a totally different, aesthetically pleasing environment, where I have perfect hair, perfect complementary, but eye-catching, clothing, perfect rhythm, and a perfect amount of self-confidence and poise. Basically, me as though I am in a music video.
This is sort of similar to my “karaoke fantasy” (not a sexual one), which I have written about a lot before, and is something that I suspect a large number of people have. Basically, you just imagine yourself going onstage at a karaoke club or school talent show, vengefully singing a Selena Gomez song, and just happening to look out into the audience and spotting your crush (a current one or one who has wronged you, or both) in the audience. It’s a scenario in which reality is just slightly altered so that everything is aligned in your favor. Like a music video!
This is because, while the mystic allure of being the typical girl in a music video is fraught with sexism–remember that whole “Blurred Lines” mess?–being a single girl in a music video is high-key the shit. Don’t believe me? Check out these things that only happen to single girls in music videos:
1. They are always wearing cat ears and eating pancakes, like in Taylor Swift’s “22!”
2. They get to cut loose with their girls in the club, like in Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Boy Problems!”
3. Singing vengefully in limousines with their girls, like in “Breaking Up” by Charli XCX!!
4. And asserting that any and all breakups they have had were the easiest things in the world!
5. Like Kelly Clarkson in “Since U Been Gone,” obvi:
6. And, of course, cutting loose in the streets (with their girls), like in Vanessa Hudgens’ “Sneakernight:”
7. They literally DGAF, exhibited by Rihanna’s “Rockstar 101:”
8. They don’t even care about slamming the door in Jake Gyllenhaal’s face, like in “Never Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift!
9. They ascertain their independence while wearing color-coordinated outfits with their lesser cohorts (“Independent Women” by Destiny’s Child. But you know that):
10. They get to wear Single Lady gloves!
11. And, even when they are sad, it is in an aesthetically appealing manner, like in Beyonce’s “Why Don’t You Love Me:”
(Prolly ’cause this is Beyonce, but no matter!)
Would you also like to be a single girl in a music video? Which one is your fave? Let us know in the comments!