I’m pretty sure (or at least I hope) we can all agree that homophobia (being intolerant towards the LGBTQ community) sucks. Homophobia in general is something the LGBTQ community has been fighting against for years and years – but one side to it that doesn’t get nearly enough attention is biphobia. Biphobia, the intolerance or “fear” of bisexual people, is extremely common, often mistaken, and even runs rampant among people who identify as gay or lesbian. Yes, really. At least half of the people in my life are proud of the fact that they aren’t homophobic, but are actually biphobic as hell, and that refers to both gay and straight people. Bisexual people, or those who like men and women, find themselves in an awkward space that almost seems to invite hatred. They aren’t deemed straight enough to be accepted by heterosexuals, and they also aren’t considered gay enough to be included in the gay community. Because they can’t be pinned down and out into a neat, small box, the knee-jerk reaction is to make fun of, shun, erase, and exclude bisexual people.
This happens in a few ways. For one, bisexual people are often overlooked because they’re hesitant to come out. For another, their sexual orientation isn’t taken as seriously. They’re often victims of micro-aggressions. When someone says they’re bi, someone will inevitably try to convince them that they aren’t (more on that soon). The sad part is that you might not even realize that you’re biphobic or saying biphobic things, but that doesn’t change the fact that you need to stop doing it. Here are 15 biphobic things we all need to stop saying, or at least be more aware of. Everyone deserves to be accepted, even if you personally don’t agree with their choice. Let’s be a little more woke, okay?
1) “It’s just a phase, you’ll get over it.”
Right… so why isn’t being straight considered a “phase?” Just because you like men and women doesn’t mean you’re stuck in some weird space of confusion.
2) “Just pick one.”
Yes, when you enter a monogamous relationship, you are essentially picking a person who might be of one gender, but you aren’t closing yourself off to being attracted to different genders. Pick one? Like that’s a choice you get?
3) “She swings both ways.”
Same goes for playing for both teams. This isn’t sports. I can’t figure out why this phrase bugs me so much, but it’s probably related to the indecisiveness that’s implied about bisexuality which is not okay.
4) “Who do you like more? Boys or girls?”
THE ANSWER IS BOTH.
5) “If you get married to a man/woman are you still bisexual?”
It’s not a one or the other thing when it comes to sexual orientation. Being married to a partner of one gender doesn’t negate the fact that you’re attracted to different genders. There’s no picking sides. If you’re bi, you’re bi.
6) “You’re just nervous about coming out as gay.”
Nope, pretty much bi.
7)”You’re just straight and want to ‘experiment.'”
Nope, still bi.
8) “You just want attention.”
Uh… no. Not everything is about you! Sometimes it’s about the other person.
9) “Who hurt you?”
Bisexuality isn’t a reaction to getting your heart broken by one gender, it’s a valid sexual orientation. Stop trying to find a cause. People are born this way. Get over it.
10) “I could never hook up with a bisexual person.”
From both sides of the community, there’s this weird paranoia that you’re going to be left for someone of the gender you aren’t. NO! Stop. The idea that bisexual people are “tainted’ for being with many genders instead of exclusively one is judgmental and shitty af. This would literally never be okay if you you said something like “I could never hook up with an Asian person” so why are we okay with saying ‘bisexual’ in this sentence?
11) “You probably have so many threesomes.”
Cool making assumptions about people’s sex lives. Bisexuality doesn’t equal promiscuity. Not everybody’s down to hook up with multiple people at the same time. If you do, good for you, but not every bisexual is non monogamous.
12) “Bisexual people are selfish.”
SLEEP WITH ALL THE PEOPLE! This literally makes no sense.
13) “Bisexual people are sluts.”
Also, hello, promiscuity isn’t bad. Seeing bisexual people as inherently unfaithful, confused, and untrustworthy is. Cheaters and sluts come in all different sexual orientations. It’s not exclusively monopolized by bisexual people.
14) “Bisexual people cheat all the time.”
Just because you’re attracted to different genders doesn’t mean that you need to catch all genders as current sexual partners like Pokemon.
15) “Why would you come out when you can pass for straight?”
Because bisexual people aren’t straight and being closeted sucks. Next.
Have you ever said one of these phrases? Did you know you were being biphobic? Let us know in the comments!
You can follow the author, Aliee Chan, on Twitter.