College freshmen everywhere are getting ready to start a new journey in their lives, if they haven’t already done so, and excitement is high. Incoming students are excited to meet new people and do new things and start fresh. But for those of you who have decided to try and make your high school relationship last as you and bae head off in different directions, the mixed emotions struggle is very real. You can’t wait to meet your roomie and start your new classes, but you’re also miserable AF about the thought of being so far from your boyfriend or girlfriend for such a long period of time. You’ve probably already been told by everyone that you guys should break up and get it over with (and you’ve probably resisted all urges to punch those people in the face, in which case, I congratulate you). Despite the naysayers, you and your S.O. have decided to try and make things work – so, good for you! But now what?
The reason so many people urge incoming freshman to break up with their significant others is because dating someone long-distance (or even just kind of long-distance) is incredibly tough while you’re also adjusting to a new environment and growing and changing in separate places. Being tied to someone who isn’t with you can hold you back, but sometimes, if you’re really in love, it’s worth it. And that’s your choice! I made the decision to stay with my boyfriend in the beginning of college, and so I respect your choice.
And also, I want to help you. Like I said, it’s tough to stay with someone if you’re both living in different schools, even for the strongest couples, and so a lot more effort is required. Do these things to make your high school relationship last and prove all of your negative friends wrong.
Keep Things More PrivateThis doesn't mean you should hide your relationship or pretend it's not happening - it just means that you should be careful about who you discuss it with. Most people have strong opinions about high school couples who stay together in college, and most of those opinions are negative. Sometimes, asking for advice or talking to people about it can make things harder. What really matters at the end of the day is how you two feel, not how anyone else feels. Confide in the friends and family members you trust, but take an overall more private approach to your relationship so that you guys can make the important decisions without someone else's voice in your ears. Source: iStock
Schedule Your Visits, But Be FlexibleMake sure you schedule a lot of little visits within a few weeks of each other - and do it in advance. If you just think "we'll figure it out," things will get disorganized and confusing. It's better to have your visits on a calendar. It's also good to space them out a bit. You don't want to spend every single weekend together, because that cuts into your college social life, which is also important. At the same time, you don't want to go months without seeing each other either, so figure out a compromise. You should also be open to the idea of being flexible about your visits. If something important comes up or a very cool social event you don't want to miss, you guys should be open to moving things around or rescheduling. In order for the relationship to work, it's important for you to be supportive of each other and allow each other room to breathe. If you make the visits feel like an obligation, you'll quickly become bitter about them. Source: iStock
Learn Everything About SkypeTechnology makes long-distance relationships a little bit easier, and you should definitely take advantage of it. I highly recommend learning your way around Skype video chats. I think Skype works better than Google Hangout and Facetime, and it's nice that you can video chat, do group video chats, or use the messaging system. Skype offers really cool features, it can be used on your phone or your computer, and it's super popular.
Plan 'Dates'It sounds weird to plan long distance dates, but if the majority of your communication consists of you guys talking about basically nothing every night, that will get boring fast. Instead, try to plan little "date" ideas. You can both go see the same movie at the same time, then talk about it afterwards, if you're into that. You can do the same thing with watching a TV show. You can try walking around video chatting and showing each other around your school. You can heat up the same meal and "eat together" while video chatting. It sounds silly and corny, but it just keeps things a little bit different. Source: iStock
Find A Friend In A Similar SituationOf course, you shouldn't feel like you have to scour your college to become friends with only the girls in long-distance relationships, but it might be nice to find someone in the same situation as you. Single friends might not understand what you're going through, so they might not be able to totally be there for you when you need them. But other people going through the same thing can understand and you guys can bond over it. It's making a friend and strengthening your relationship at the same time! Source: iStock
Go OutI know a lot of girls and guys who chose to stay in their HS relationships, and then never did anything socially in college. Their relationships ended pretty quickly in. This is because they made things too much about each other - that leads to bitterness and boredom. Instead, force yourself to go out and do social things. Not only will it help you make friends, but it will also keep your mind off your relationship and make you feel less sad. Source: iStock
Use Snail MailYeah, text messaging and video chatting have instant results, but there's something extra special about receiving a handwritten letter or a cute care package. Send your bae a note every once in a while, or put together sweet packages of their favorite things, photos of you two, or sexy little reminders of your time together. Have them do the same. Source: iStock
Download A Couple AppSnail mail is romantic, but let's get back to technology for a second. There are lots of apps out there that are made with long-distance couples in mind. You guys can use them to play games together, answer trivia questions together, send private messages, all of that. They all offer similar features, but each app is unique, so just find the one that works for you guys.
Be Honest When You're Feeling UpsetOne of the most important ways to keep a long distance relationship going is to keep open and honest communication. You have to be real with bae when you're feeling hurt, jealous, lonely, or angry. A lot of people don't want to bring up the crappy feelings when they're not together because they're scared it will ruin things and then they can't see each other. But if you push that stuff aside, it's going to build up and make things even worse. Just be real with each other! Source: iStock
Find The Right BalanceYou don't want to be too smothering, because that will push them away, but you also don't want to be too lax. Allow your S.O. to go out without making them feel bad, but don't go out and flirt with other people yourself. Talk on the phone a few times a day, but don't text 24/7. Find the right balance between smothering and too much space. Source: iStock
Have you decided to try to stay with someone during college? What is it like? Tell us in the comments.