12 Thoughts Guys Must Think When Sending Dick Pics

The male mind is an interesting thing. Although there are plenty of ways females are not different from males, there are also some ways we actually are – which is why we spend countless hours trying to figure out what exactly is going on in that dude’s head with our friends. It is also why there are scientific studies and countless romantic comedies devoted to trying to decipher the damn thing. There are lots of things to wonder about (Why do they feel totally comfortable with their hands being down their pants? Why can’t they just cry when they’re upset instead of acting angry about it?) One area of the male mind that confuses a lot of us girls is guys’ fascination with sending dick pics.

The male species seems to love sending the ole’ dick pic, but it’s mystery why, because most girls aren’t even into them, and you would assume that the reason they’re sending them is for approval. When a girl receives one, most of us cringe and swiftly delete it from our phones… or we do the wrong thing and show all of our friends (not cool, ladies). I mean, WTF were they thinking sending that? We don’t 100 percent know what goes on in dudes’ heads when they’re snapping photos of their peens, nor do we really want to ask them. However, we have a pretty good idea of what they must be pondering before they hit that “send” button and surprise you with a D pic. These are the 12 thoughts guys must think when sending a dick pic:

1. What angle is going to make my peen look huuuuuuge?

d1

Should I go for the “classic” straight angle pose, or should I try a diagonal shot? Would a high angle snap look dope or would it be terrifying?

 

2. Where the heck should I take this photo?

d2

In bed? Meh. In the shower? I don’t want to get my phone wet. On the toilet would just be freakin’ weird.

 

3. To filter or not to filter?

d3

Does my penis really need a filter? If I used one, would it make it look like I had some nasty STD? I wonder if “Earlybird” would work?

 

4. Could I add in a ruler?

d8

Too much? Should I keep it more chill?

 

5. Should I add the balls?

d7

Should I show everything or not bother with the balls because she ain’t even going to be looking at them?

 

6. A semi-boner is just as good as a full-on one.

d10

Any type of boner is good, man.

 

7. Too add the eggplant emoji, or to not add the eggplant emoji?

d9

Does the message really need it when she has the actual penis in the photo?

 

8. How do I get this head to shaft ratio right?

d0

Too much head is not good. Too little looks like I’m just taking a photo of my pubes.

 

9. Would a group message be too much?

d000

I mean, I have a few different people I could send this pic to…

 

10. I must think of the wittiest caption.

d14

No peen pic is complete without a ~*sexy*~ caption. How many dick puns is too many for one message?

 

11. Should I Snapchat my D pic?

d15

I’ve done the text, but I could try a snap? It would hopefully get erased so she couldn’t send it around. Would it be weird if I put the puppy face of my peen? Dude, I should totally Face Swap with it.

 

12. She is going to effing love this.

d13

Who wouldn’t get turned on by my penis pic?

What do you think about guys sending dick pics? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.

 

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